what do you do when children doesn't want to see their father or go over to his house. i have been seperated for 1 1/2 years and in the process of a divorce. he doesn't iinact with them. they told him why they don't want to go over but he blame me . i left him for men tal abuse with me and all the things he is talkiing it ot on the achildren. now he has not contact with them and tell his lawyers that i am the cause. but there are happy not going over there.
Answers:
1. You really need to straighten up your grammar and spelling.
It gets frustrating trying to read something like that in order to try to help you.
It would all depend on the reason "why" the children don't want to see their Dad.
Could it be because they have heard you say something bad about him?
Because then they might feel like they have to choose sides with "one of you".
And that's terrible for children to have to go through.
If it's not for safety reasons,
then I think you should encourage them to have a relationship with their Father.
It will pay off in the long run.
They won't look back and think that YOU kept them from being with their Father.
Good luck to you and your children ;)
2. If he doesn't want them there....and they don't like going.....stop sending them.
3. I was in your situation at one time. I always told my kids if you don't want to go you don't have to go! If he is mentally abusing them that needs to be brought up to your lawyer. I don't know what state you live in. but now in n.y. kids can get there own lawyers through the courts. As far as him blaming you, get used to it. no matter what goes on now as far as the kids not wanting to be around him or whatever he will blame you! My kids are in their 20's now and just a couple of yrs. ago their sperm donor...im sorry father lol. said that it was up to ME to make the kids have a realationship with him!!!! Isn't that funny! That led to an argument!!! I also have not been with him since my youngest was a baby and that was 20 yrs ago. But trust me you will get stronger and more self confident and you wont take his b.s. But right now you have to do whats best for the kids. definetly get a hold of your lawyer and let him know about the mental abuse on the kids! good luck and hang in there, you will be able to do it!!!
4. How old are the children?
If they are past a certain age (I'm not sure what), then I would think that they would have the right to refuse.
If they are not old enough to make that decision, then I'm not sure if you have any legs to stand on. He must have some sort of visitation rights.
Sometimes, you give people enough rope to hang themselves. Tell your children, "I'm sorry, but he is your father.", and let him deal with them. When they show up miserable for him, he may not want that contact as much anymore, or it might shame him into changing his ways.
Even if this doesn't happen, I think you owe it to yourself, your children, and even your ex-spouse to make the effort. What you don't want is your children to turn on you years from now, saying "Why didn't you let us see daddy?". Do everything you reasonably can for now, and let him deal with the negativity of the children.
5. Don't worry about your children's father putting blame on you. If your children have legitimate reasons for not wanting to see their fathers, then don't force them to. They may be better off. If you can be mentally abused by your ex so can your children.
6. How old are your children? In most cases if the children are a certain age they can make the decision of whether to see their dad or not. Most judges will listen to what the kids want. It also helps to record any phone conversations between you and your ex and your ex and the kids. If the kids are old enough have them keep a journal of their visits with their dad. You are their mom just do your best to keep them safe.
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