my boyfriend and i are both in college (undergrad) and he is a year above me. Next year is his senior year and my junior. We've been talking about where our relationship is going after school. Since we've been together 3 yrs, i (as well as he) am fully committed to this relationship. He wants to go to Florida to live closer to his brother and continue grad school there, and can't (financially) afford to travel and/or transfer in my senior year. what should i do? should i follow him after my senior yr, even though all my family is rooted here? should he be willing to wait for me to finish school and then we can both transfer to Florida for grad school?
-a confused 20yr old
Answers:
1. Follow him after you are finished.
2. hun, i cant tell ya what to do you gotta follow your heart : ). best of lucks to ya and god bless.. dont worry you will figure it all out eventually..
3. Hey! It's so funny I came across this question, because I've totally got your back (I'm currently in a situation just like this). I was a freshman last year and my boyfriend was a senior. He had plans to go teach grads in China for a full year this year and he asked me if I wanted him to go and if after I graduate I would follow him (if he were to still be there). I was completely torn about even staying together ( mean, this is college), but in the end it was way harder to not be together than the other way around. I'd say to the let the guy go do what he wants for this year. I wouldn't ever want the responsibility of keeping a guy away from his dream grad school just for my own desires. Really, being apart isn't as drastic as it sounds, and it's actually been shown in some studies that those in long-distance relationships rate their happiness with their relationship higher than others! It's true, it'll bring you together or tear you apart, but for me, it has made things even more absolutely amazing. I know when I see him next, it'll be magical.
As for following him to Florida in a year, I'd say to do it IF and ONLY IF Florida provides for you the type of grad school things that you want. Don't go to Florida because your boyfriend is there. Sure, you can take it into consideration because it's a fact he's there and you love him, but if there's a school in Maine or closer to home that better suits your dreams and aspirations, keep in mind you're only going to be 21 and you can't build your life around this guy QUITE yet (which doesn't mean you won't eventually :)). You'll know more after this next year if it's going to work being apart, and if it is, what's the rush? One more year of waiting for each other isn't going to matter in the scheme of a lifetime that you hope to spend with each other. However, if you see no reason to go to a school near you versus a school in Florida, then I'd say go. Your family will be there when you get back.
Good luck, and I know right now is confusing. Relationships aren't all fun and games (as I'm sure you know), but trust me, if you don't make any drastic decisions now and change either of your futures for one another, you won't have time to regret things later...because you'll be on a beach kissing and talking and together.
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