wondering if a relationship should end and maybe how. I love my GF, and she loves me, she is very into me, and wants to spend her life with me. she says she got it right this time when she got with me. I do not exactly feel quite the same way. I love her, but am not sure if I am doing the right things. sometimes I like where I am, but sometimes am so totally not sure that i get knots in my stomach and i get scared to say anything. we have been living together for about 8 months and seeing each other for about a year. she has 2 kids that we live with also (boys 19 and 11) I am divorced with 2 kids as well (boy 4 and girl 16 months)
Answers:
1. it may just be you are afraid that it will end up like the first one?? or maybe your just not ready to move that far yet. or she just might not be it. but you need to look deep inside before you make a choice or tell her
2. I go through the same thing with my boyfriend. My problem, sadly is I was so dreadfully broken hearted by my previous boyfriend that I find myself doubting my current relationship (been together four and a bit years, living together for three) because I don't feel as intense, but that was only because my past relationship was so damn unhealthy, and this one is balanced.
One thing I will comment on is the fact that you mention you've been together only a year, yet living together for eight of those months. Thats very very speedy to move in, and surely, at both your ages, wouldn't you have learnt that taking things so quickly generally means things end because they were too rushed? You have children, surely that must screw the kids up, to have a new uncle moving in after just four months of seeing each other? I'm sorry if I sound harsh, but this sounds like a case of make decisions in haste, regret at your leisure.
I think you need to really think about what you want. If you fear being alone more than fear being without her, you probably should cut your losses and move on.
3. It all depends on how you two deal with this. If you love her and you think she loves you back the same way, then you should stick with it and also what you REALLY REALLY need to do is both of you talk about the future of the both of you because from what I see this relationship not only affects you two but it involves your children, both you and your girlfriend's. So think first ten years from now and see yourself with her and make sure its what you want because breaking a womans heard is like breaking a piece of glass into a billion pieces and now for the rest of her life she has to put those pieces back together. Women are fragile so you have to treat them that way. Make sure what you are doing and the love you will or are giving her is enough that you two will live together. Dont worry about the knots in your stomach, its signs of love and dont ever think that love comes and goes....if you lose a loved one, then it remains in your heart forever, I should know, my love passed away. Hold on to her and never let her go because she could and will be your life. Hope this helps man and best of luck..... Savey! ( from jack sparrow)
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