I just asked a question entitled 'Condescending best friend...please help!?' - refer to that post before reading this one. I wanted to explain the situation further, and see how people felt after reading this.
I started dating my boyfriend 2 1/2 years ago. I had just broken up with someone, and was not looking for a relationship. My best friend and I worked with a guy who I thought was really cool (my now boyfriend), and when she told me that she was interested in him, I backed off. I made every effort for her to talk to him and be with him, but she would not take it. After some deliberation, I felt like it had been long enough and I told him that I was interested in him - it was true, and my friend wasn't making any sort of move whatsoever. Thing was, though, I did not initially confront her about it. She found out 'through the grapevine', and to this day I still feel bad about it. I feel like this is part of the reason that she dislikes my relationship with him so much.
Answers:
1. 7 hours ago
For a long while, she seemed to get along with him. We all hung out together, etc. But when she began seeing a guy on and off, she began to diss my boyfriend to her new guy - to me, a way of reaffirming to herself that she didn't still want my boyfriend and wanted this new guy instead. Turns out, this new guy treated her like crap and cheated on her twice. In a way I think this made her resent my loving, mature relationship even more. She is still with this awful guy, which really sucks. Now that you know more about the situation, how do you feel about it?
2. yeah you kinda screwed her over
3. You are the condescending one dork!
4. If you like someone you shouldn't have to back off. It's her tough luck she didn't try to make a move. She shouldn't resent you, you did nothing wrong. Would he even have been intrested in her? Obviously he wanted to be with you or you wouldn't be together for two and a half years. She needs to move on.
5. eh, she wasn't doing nothing with the guy and you can date who u want to date. tell her to get over it and help her find someone else
6. sorry to say it but your a bitc# you should respect your friend more than that to go for the guy she liked. she probaly has alot of anger toward you and i trying to recover in bad ways like finding this neww guy who is an @$$. maybe you should talk to her about it cause you kinda stole her man
7. You shouldn't have made a move on the guy she liked. That's not something a friend would do. Regardless if she didn't make a move, you at least should have talked to her about it first. I'm surprised you two are still friends. If she saw you as two-faced and backstabbing -- would you really be surprised? Right now, you're more concerned with the fact she feel uncomfortable with your relationship with the guy she used to like? Come on.
8. I can't say all i will say is
just do what is right for you
btw
pls dont bite my head of
sorry its not a good answer
9. If she's still with him, then she needs some help. Some clarification. Some clearing up. Don't worry about what others say, even if it's your other self. It's your life, and you made the right choices, I suppose. Help her, but do not let her get to you. Help her understand that everyone's different and has to find their own way of doing things. And to be careful not to make the wrong choices. We all do, of course, but we need to fix them as soon as possible. She's comparing, and she shouldn't. She should first end her relationship w/her bf 'cause of his unjust ways and think deeper into everything first. Once her mind's clear and fresh again, then talk to her about what she's so frustrated about and why she's so concerned with your personal life when hers went down the drain.
&if she liked your current bf it's not your fault that you're with him because he loves you and not her. If he loved her, whatever you said wouldn't have mattered and he would still have waited for her. But obviously, she cannot handle her problems very well at this stage so she needs some time to adjust and move on.
But then again, if you knew she liked him in the first place, you should NEVER have asked him. You should keep supporting her and know your place, and just look for someone else, someone that's right for you. If he wasn't right for her then they would not stay together for long anyway. It's not a first come first serve thing. It's about commitment and trust.
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