My fiancée and I are trying to determine how to make reference to my late father on our wedding invitations. We do not want to give the impression that my father is alive and inviting guests to the wedding. Any suggestions?
Thank you.
Answers:
1. Hi. It really is not proper to do it on the invitation, but it would be OK to include his name in the wedding program if you are having them. Also, during the ceremony, there could be a time when his name is mentioned or a special candle lit in his memory.
Best of luck!
2. 'Daughter of (Mother's name) and the late (Father's name)'
3. You are correct that you ought not to follow the "Mr & Mrs John Jones ... request the honor of your, etc" format. You could use a format like "The honor of your presence is requested ... at the marriage of ... Miss Julia Jones ... daughter of John and Joanna Jones ... to Mr Samuel Smith ... son of Silas and Sarah Smith ... on Saturdy the, etc"
Notice that the names of both sets of parents are included. If you included the names of only set of parents, your invitations will seem rather lopsided and peculiar; some people will wonder if there is particular reason why your fiancee's parents are omitted.
I hope this is helpful. Congrats and best wishes.
4. I am assuming you are the groom. Here is a sample (with made-up names):
Mr. and Mrs. David and Judy Lane
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Elizabeth Rose
to
Stefan James Moore
son of Mrs. Leslie Moore and the late Mr. Frederick Moore
If the bride has a deceased parent, it may be worded as follows:
The honor of your presence is requested at the marriage of
Elizabeth Rose Lane,
daughter of Mrs. Judy Lane and the late Mr. David Lane,
to
Stefan Moore,
son of... etc. etc.
5. Normally it's the bride's parents who invite the guests, and no need to mntion anyone who is not doing the inviting, but if both families are to be mentioned on the card somewhere, you can write something like 'John Jones, son of Elizabeth and the late Frederick Jones'. Or you might decide to leave your father's name off of the cards if your mother and fiancee's parents are doing the inviting ('Peter and Mary Smith and Elizabeth Jones would like to invite.....) and mention your father during speeches (maybe along the lines of 'I wish my father had been here to see my wedding after all the love and support he gave me'). You might want to check with your mother if she is comfortable on her own or would like an uncle or close friend to support her where appropriate, like a partner for dances. Have a lovely day.
6. My husband's father passed away when he was younger and we reference him in our invitations. Just put your name, daughter of, your mom and step father's name (if she has re-married) and the late then your dad's name. It's informative and not in your face that your dad has passed away at the same time.
7. this is just an example.
The brides name usually goes first:
Mr and Mrs. Joe Brown
&
Mrs. John H. Smith & In memory of his late father,
Announce the nuptials of their children,
Josephine A. Brown to John H. Smith Jr.
To Be Held at
place
date
time
Although I must say that most invitations don't include deceased parents names. Some consider it a morbid thing to do. But I am of the opinion that you should do your inviations they way you want to. If you want to include your fathers name in your wedding invitation. Go for it! Good luck.
8. I think it is completely tactful and also respectful to include your father's name. In the place where you would put Mr. and Mrs. (name), simply put Mrs. (mothers name) and the late Mr. (father's name). I don't think it is morbid to give reference to your father.
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