What would you do or say to your husband if all he ever talked (whined) about was hunting and fishing? If he complained all the time because you wanted to do something fun with the family (we have 2 kids) and all he did was bytch and moan because he couldnt go fishing cuz he had to spend time with his wife and kids. I'm really sick and tired of the pessimistic attitude he's shown towards me and the kids lately. He hasnt said anything nice to me or the kids. He has upset our neighbors by being a jackass to them. He hasnt been nice to anyone. and he doesnt care if he pisses off the whole world. The worst part of it, is that we own a business together, and he was yelling at me today that he doesnt have to do a job, that they can wait till spring to get it done because he just doesnt want to do it now. He'd rather go hunting. HOw the hell do you deal with someone like this? I'm defianately contemplating a divorce, since he refuses to go back to his counseling that he was in before.
Answers:
1. 8 hours ago
If I complimented him on doing something right, he'd never hear it. Since he hasnt done a single decent thing in the past few months. we went on a trip with our neighbors this past weekend, and he made it miserable for everyone. He wouldnt smile, he complained about everything. the price of food, the festival that we went to, the ride, the radio was too loud, we were being mean by not talking about hunting and fishing...... that kind of complaining.
2. 8 hours ago
fishing is not his form of stress release and either is hunting, its just a very very bad obsession he has. otherwise I'd agree with you. But it's his entire liveliehood. fishing and hunting. If I wasnt around he'd spend every cent he had on hunting and fishing equipment. the car would be repo-d the house would be foreclosed on...... see the problem here? it's his one and only thing in the world he cares about.
3. 8 hours ago
I am not a b.itch. How dare you call me that. If I was a *****, I'd leave him and take him for everything he had. but I'm not that way. I try to solve problems, not run away from them. I've dealt with his whining for 5 yrs now. and enough is enough. If you dont want to have a family, then you shouldnt start one. I'm asking for advice, opinions. I'm not asking to be called names by some other person who obviously has her own issues.
4. I'd say, "Fine.....since you don't want to spend time with us, you can send us money instead." and lock him out.
5. I read this book and it says you should actually compliment what he does say and do right. Then, he's more focused on doing those things than on what isn't going well for him. I always encourage HARD work as opposed to divorce. Marriage is HARD.
6. i'm glad you said it (divorce) make a life for you and the kids and leave him to his whatever.
7. he needs anger management control lessons...something is bothering him big time and takes it out on you and your kids. go with your strongest feeling about staying with him or kicking him to the curb. he needs to get ahold of himself....
8. I would leave him for a trial seperation period of time..leave him some worms and a hunting rifle with a note that says "Here are your most prized possesions have fun..now you dont have to worry about anything else we are gone" See what he does then maybe something will hit him between the eyes and when he doesnt havent you guys around he will realize whats more important..everyone that says that he is stressed out i think is being ridiculous it sounds like he is just selfish and cares about nothing else leave him a deer head next to the worms and rifle with a p.s. on the note that says "Have fun F****** this!"
9. He sounds like he's stressed out - really stressed out - and taking it out on other people. Sit down with him and make a contract up for both of you: he has to take your work/business seriously and stop effing up. It's his and your livelihood. So he should be doing his best to keep it competitive.
Then tell him that he can go fishing every other weekend without a care in the world if he spends every other weekend doing something with you and the kids. If he doesn't think that's enough fishing, negotiate. Maybe just one weekend a month with you and the kids but it has to be a GOOD weekend of activities and relaxation.
If he's being a jackass and acting out all his problems, then he is unable to deal with some sort of stress. You can help him by giving him that outlet - fishing - but you have to explain that it is because you want something in return... his time and his attention.
I'm guessing that the fishing may be his way of dealing with stress.
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