i've been dating a guy for almost 2 years. he's 32 and i'm 28. i knew he smoked pot early on, but didn't realize how frequently he did it until about a yr into the relationship. it bothered me bc i don't smoke. we've talked about and i decided to try to deal with. he tries not to do it in my presence and says its something he believes he will eventually give up once he has kids, but is something he wants to enjoy doing in the meantime. now after another year, i realize it still really bothers me and i'm afraid its a habit he'll never be able to give up. is this something worth waiting out?
Answers:
1. It really isnt a big deal unless you make it one. My uncle smokes quite often, and hes a great father to his son. As long as he is responsible it should not be a problem. More adults smoke marijuana than you know.
2. I would say yes, get out now. Pot smoking causes so many long term problems. Ask yourself if you're willing to put up with all of that for the sake of love.
3. My mother is OLD and she STILL smokes pot. I keep trying to get her to quit and she refuses to listen. She's even spent a few nights in jail due to having it in her car when being pulled over by a cop during a traffic stop. Apparently, some people do not have the self-discipline to quit. It sounds like your boyfriend is one of them.
4. only u can answer that. How important is it to you that he not stop? And how important are you to him....enough to stop? Also, understand that he may have a serious drug addiction.....first it will be, "I'll stop when I have kids," then it'll be, "I need it, the kids stress me out..." There will always be an excuse. He may need professional help if he's not willing to quit now. Do you really want to wait till you have kids with this man to find out if he'll stop?
5. He'll give it up when he is ready. My brother's ex girlfriend pressured him to quit smoking weed, so he just hid it from her, which led to mistrust and them arguing all the time. If it wasn't a big deal to begin with, why is it now?
6. It's not the smoking that would be, or should be the deal breaker but rather, knowing that this was matter of concern to you, he chose to smoke. That would be a relationship deal breaker for me. Are you in a state where "smoke" is tolerated? Does he realize that you can suffer the consequences for his smoking? He weighed his options and apparently did not choose you. Deal breaker!
7. nope, b/c quiting is harder than it sounds. sadly most ppl cant stop at a momments notice. chances are he won't/can't stop. I think personaly i wouldnt want to date him, b/c its a bad habit.
are u familur with the term 'guilty by association' ya well ppl will assume u smoke b/c he does. u r guilty by associating with him.
think about it...... hope this helps.
8. What's the big deal? I've smoked pot since i was16 am now 50 nothing wrong with it raised 2 step-children since they were about 8-9yrs old never hid it from them explained to them
just because it's illegal does'nt mean it's wrong
let them make their own judgment as their biological father is an alcoholic and they've seen how he's acted getting into fights,
obnoxious then they've seen me being kind to people holding doors open for people giving the homeless money that kind of thing, one is
now 20 the other is 16 and guess what they don't smoke pot! told them I would discipline them if i caught them smoking while their in school until they graduated then I'd smoke with them if they wanted to well the 20 yrold started to smoke cigs at 18 but still does'nt smoke the other has wanted to try it but timing isn't right yet not pushing one way or other.By the way i am a strict disciplinarian have spanked them when they needed it now they realize on their own that smoking pot is no big deal.So I can't understand why society is so much against it?
I also don't think I mentioned I stopped drinking at 22 because i don't like upchucking or hangovers so i smoke pot instead. see no reason why if i don't drink i should have to go through life stone cold sober can't wait for the day they legalize it and stop this ridiculous attempt at lying to the american people about the hazards of it! watch reefer madness a government backed movie of the 30s designed to scare people filled with horrendous lies well after watching that film at17 i then knew not to trust the government as they will do what ever is neccesary lie, cheat, steal,even commit murder for their own agenda whatever the hell that is.Anyways let him do it if he want's to he shouldn't have to hide it from you I think your the one that's trying to make an issue of it fight to legalize it, don't take my word or anyone else's observe and form your own opinion, does he beat you? commit crimes etc when he smokes it? or does he sit there and tries to relax, to have fun and enjoy it.Don't worry about it unless it starts to become a problem just my opinion!
p.s. From reading some of the posts it's not about self discipline or whether or not your state is relaxed about it .but has everything to do with your right to smoke it!! This is still america is it not? This is not facist russia or is it?
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