My best friend is often very rude to me. My most recent issue with her is how she treats my relationship with my boyfriend in such low regards. My boyfriend and I recently took a break (we've been together 2 1/2 years), but now we are back together. My best friend does not even acknowledge the fact that we are still a couple, and it's so frustrating. Every time I even try to mention him she completely ignores what I am saying. It's just those little things...tonight she said that she should nominate me for the next 'Bachelorette' when she knows damn well I'm in a serious, genuine relationship. Why does she have to be like this? Any suggestions? Thank you.
Answers:
1. 8 hours ago
And I guess I should note that my best friend and I are also cousins, been together all of our lives. Even though we are two very different people.
2. Honestly, just ignore her. She is probably jealous of your relatioship. I was in a similar situation once and I just didn't even mention my b/f to her. I talked about other things...
3. 1.) Were you hard pressed to find a best friend to settle for this person?
2.) She probably feels like she's on a side burner, not important to you, though If she acts that way, she should be.
4. I think that if your friend is bothering you that much, you should call her over, and tell her straight up that it bothers you.
If she continues to do it, tell her she has a choice: she can either never speak to you again, or respect your relationship. So basically, if she is that rude, I would just ditch her.
5. It sounds like she is jealous of the time you are spending with him, she needs to learn to be more mature about it.
6. Find a genuine best friend.
7. just tell her
she sounds like one heck of a ********
she isnt a real bestfriend
8. tell her how u feel
9. She is not your best friend! If you want to get through to her, correct her once as seriously as possible. She should understand!
10. If she is rude and inconsiderate of your feelings, then she is NOT your best friend.
If you want to keep her as a friend, you need to tell her exactly how you feel about her comments.
Maybe she's jealous, maybe she doesn't like him and doesn't know how to tell you, could be a number of reasons.
But you need to talk it out with her to find our, otherwise it won't change.
11. Its a terrible feeling,especially if she makes you feel less then you are!
Assert yourself. Do not let anyone, even a friend bring you down. She should support you, who needs enemies if you have friends like those right?
You deserve her to listen and support, tell her that, maybe she does not know how it effects you.
12. maybe she misses having you to herself, my bestfriend jenny is really possive over me when my boyfriend is around. bc shes used to not having to fight for my attention. idk somthing like she might have liked it better when u were seprated.
13. Knock her lights out!!! And then broom her, she doesn't respect you.
14. does this have a boyfriend does'nt sound like she does she's either really jeallous or really hates him
15. tell her to not be a total jerk and to lay of
16. i have a friend like that too.
maybe shes jealous of your relationship, & she feels that you spending time w/ him could take you away from her.
i would try and say something to her about it, in a non-confrontational way. it might help.
good luck!
17. This is just her personality and she is probably not aware that she actually is doing something wrong. What I would recommend would be to mention how you feel to her. This is tough but if she is truly your best friend, she will understand and will be more considerate. If she doesn't like this, well somebody who is that condecending to you doesn't even sound like a best friend in the first place.
18. wat ren said cause i got da same problem my friends going out with this girl i hate!! and hes my best friend and i get pissed off and now he ignores me. But i worked it out with him we both agreed that we wont care wat happens we'll jus be best friends so ya everythings fine now you should try that
19. shes a *****
20. She is jealous and it is possible that she is unhappy and is nit-picking on other's lives to feel better and or she is tried of your bellyaching abot this guy. I don't mean to be rude but I get tried of hearing about the problems, the same ones over and over from my friend Amy and I simply call her out, whcih it seems your friend is doing to you. I mean what led up the 'taking a break'? Are you really sure it is a genuine relationship or are you fooling yourself?
21. Why is she your "best friend"?
You people have some weird concepts of friendship beyond my comprehension.
22. yo girly 1 of my frineds has been datin this girl 4 a long time also (big problem when break up happend) but that kul 4 ya AN HOW CAN SHE B UR BEST FRIEn if she treats u like crap u need new friends no o's 2 her and u know wut u shuld slap her an say u know wut listen 2 me 4 once biotch
23. I have a few theories. One, He treats you like crap and you put up with it but just complain to her about him, so she tired of it.
or Two, she doesn't have a boyfriend and is jealous.
Or three, she's a rude controlling person and wants you to do everything she tells you.
Maybe you need to find some more friends.
24. Are you sure she's your best friend?
Best friends don't treat best friends that way.
Friends don't even treat friends that way.
It's rude, and ask yourself, which do you value more? Your boyfriend, or your condescending best friend?
If I were you, I'd talk to your friend. Ask her calmly and respectfully why she acts like this -- use an example -- she should have a reason.
If not, then she's treating you this way for no reason at all...
So I'd drop her.
If she gives you a legitamate reason, sympathize with her, think about what it would be like to be in her situation (whatever it may be), and try to find a solution.
Good luck!
25. Well, you know, there are just people who are like that. It seems to be like they think that they are better than you, but really aren't. You need to tell her that you are DONE with the things that she does to you and you are not going to tolerate it. Anyone who stands up for themselves, people will listen to.
26. I feel you should reevaluate your friendship. A true will give you her opinion ,but at the same time she will be the best support system in the world...if she's a true friend.
27. She could be jealous about the fact that you have someone and she doesn't. Especially since you probably were spending a lot more time with her when you took a break from your boyfriend. Talk to her about how it makes you feel when she talks about him like that and figure out what the real problem is.
28. 'Best friend' and 'condescending' are not usually seen in the same sentence.
Try to talk to her, and if she still does this, she probably is not your best friend. Good luck to you.
29. How can you call her your "best friend?" With a friend like that, you don't need any enemies.
You should make a big deal out of EVERY rude thing she does and point it out to her. Tell her to knock it off for good or she's going to be history. It sounds to me like she is trying to control what you do and who you date.
30. Tell her that even though you two are cousins, family, she has no right to treat you like this.
I have friends that treat me in a similar way, and frankly I've had enough.. Sure they can have their opinions, but they know that you're in this relationship for a good reason, and they should respect that.
If they have concerns about why you shouldn't be, give them/her a chance to tell you upfront what her problem is. There might be a geniune concern, and by her telling you you can determine maybe why she's doing it and if she's worth listening to.
There are friends that will be concerned about you being in a particular relationship. This can be bad or good, they can be genuinely concerned because something isn't right, or they can just be jealous. Determine what it is.
If she is just being catty for no reason, tell her that she can either clean up her act and start being a real friend to you or she can take her opinions somewhere else because you don't need to hear them, especially if they're petty and childish. She's your cousin and best friend and should respect the decisions you have chosen either way.
Maybe talk to another friend about it and see what they think.
Hope this helps.
31. I would try and determine if she is condescending in general or does it just relate to the relationship with you and your boyfriend.
If it's just you and your boyfriend she's not happy about, sit down with her and address it. It could very well be she is jealous, it could be she wants her best friend and is worried about losing you to him, it could be that she has legitimate concerns about your relationship with him. Get her to turn her communication from condescending to honest and open discussions.
As long as your communication can be respectful, even if you end up disagreeing about things, you both can continue to be valuable friends to one another.
32. 9 hours ago
And I guess I should note that my best friend and I are also cousins, been together all of our lives. Even though we are two very different people.
33. Honestly, just ignore her. She is probably jealous of your relatioship. I was in a similar situation once and I just didn't even mention my b/f to her. I talked about other things...
34. 1.) Were you hard pressed to find a best friend to settle for this person?
2.) She probably feels like she's on a side burner, not important to you, though If she acts that way, she should be.
35. I think that if your friend is bothering you that much, you should call her over, and tell her straight up that it bothers you.
If she continues to do it, tell her she has a choice: she can either never speak to you again, or respect your relationship. So basically, if she is that rude, I would just ditch her.
36. It sounds like she is jealous of the time you are spending with him, she needs to learn to be more mature about it.
37. Find a genuine best friend.
38. just tell her
she sounds like one heck of a ********
she isnt a real bestfriend
39. tell her how u feel
40. She is not your best friend! If you want to get through to her, correct her once as seriously as possible. She should understand!
41. If she is rude and inconsiderate of your feelings, then she is NOT your best friend.
If you want to keep her as a friend, you need to tell her exactly how you feel about her comments.
Maybe she's jealous, maybe she doesn't like him and doesn't know how to tell you, could be a number of reasons.
But you need to talk it out with her to find our, otherwise it won't change.
42. Its a terrible feeling,especially if she makes you feel less then you are!
Assert yourself. Do not let anyone, even a friend bring you down. She should support you, who needs enemies if you have friends like those right?
You deserve her to listen and support, tell her that, maybe she does not know how it effects you.
43. maybe she misses having you to herself, my bestfriend jenny is really possive over me when my boyfriend is around. bc shes used to not having to fight for my attention. idk somthing like she might have liked it better when u were seprated.
44. Knock her lights out!!! And then broom her, she doesn't respect you.
45. does this have a boyfriend does'nt sound like she does she's either really jeallous or really hates him
46. tell her to not be a total jerk and to lay of
47. i have a friend like that too.
maybe shes jealous of your relationship, & she feels that you spending time w/ him could take you away from her.
i would try and say something to her about it, in a non-confrontational way. it might help.
good luck!
48. This is just her personality and she is probably not aware that she actually is doing something wrong. What I would recommend would be to mention how you feel to her. This is tough but if she is truly your best friend, she will understand and will be more considerate. If she doesn't like this, well somebody who is that condecending to you doesn't even sound like a best friend in the first place.
49. wat ren said cause i got da same problem my friends going out with this girl i hate!! and hes my best friend and i get pissed off and now he ignores me. But i worked it out with him we both agreed that we wont care wat happens we'll jus be best friends so ya everythings fine now you should try that
50. shes a *****
51. She is jealous and it is possible that she is unhappy and is nit-picking on other's lives to feel better and or she is tried of your bellyaching abot this guy. I don't mean to be rude but I get tried of hearing about the problems, the same ones over and over from my friend Amy and I simply call her out, whcih it seems your friend is doing to you. I mean what led up the 'taking a break'? Are you really sure it is a genuine relationship or are you fooling yourself?
52. Why is she your "best friend"?
You people have some weird concepts of friendship beyond my comprehension.
53. yo girly 1 of my frineds has been datin this girl 4 a long time also (big problem when break up happend) but that kul 4 ya AN HOW CAN SHE B UR BEST FRIEn if she treats u like crap u need new friends no o's 2 her and u know wut u shuld slap her an say u know wut listen 2 me 4 once biotch
54. I have a few theories. One, He treats you like crap and you put up with it but just complain to her about him, so she tired of it.
or Two, she doesn't have a boyfriend and is jealous.
Or three, she's a rude controlling person and wants you to do everything she tells you.
Maybe you need to find some more friends.
55. Are you sure she's your best friend?
Best friends don't treat best friends that way.
Friends don't even treat friends that way.
It's rude, and ask yourself, which do you value more? Your boyfriend, or your condescending best friend?
If I were you, I'd talk to your friend. Ask her calmly and respectfully why she acts like this -- use an example -- she should have a reason.
If not, then she's treating you this way for no reason at all...
So I'd drop her.
If she gives you a legitamate reason, sympathize with her, think about what it would be like to be in her situation (whatever it may be), and try to find a solution.
Good luck!
56. Well, you know, there are just people who are like that. It seems to be like they think that they are better than you, but really aren't. You need to tell her that you are DONE with the things that she does to you and you are not going to tolerate it. Anyone who stands up for themselves, people will listen to.
57. I feel you should reevaluate your friendship. A true will give you her opinion ,but at the same time she will be the best support system in the world...if she's a true friend.
58. She could be jealous about the fact that you have someone and she doesn't. Especially since you probably were spending a lot more time with her when you took a break from your boyfriend. Talk to her about how it makes you feel when she talks about him like that and figure out what the real problem is.
59. 'Best friend' and 'condescending' are not usually seen in the same sentence.
Try to talk to her, and if she still does this, she probably is not your best friend. Good luck to you.
60. How can you call her your "best friend?" With a friend like that, you don't need any enemies.
You should make a big deal out of EVERY rude thing she does and point it out to her. Tell her to knock it off for good or she's going to be history. It sounds to me like she is trying to control what you do and who you date.
61. Tell her that even though you two are cousins, family, she has no right to treat you like this.
I have friends that treat me in a similar way, and frankly I've had enough.. Sure they can have their opinions, but they know that you're in this relationship for a good reason, and they should respect that.
If they have concerns about why you shouldn't be, give them/her a chance to tell you upfront what her problem is. There might be a geniune concern, and by her telling you you can determine maybe why she's doing it and if she's worth listening to.
There are friends that will be concerned about you being in a particular relationship. This can be bad or good, they can be genuinely concerned because something isn't right, or they can just be jealous. Determine what it is.
If she is just being catty for no reason, tell her that she can either clean up her act and start being a real friend to you or she can take her opinions somewhere else because you don't need to hear them, especially if they're petty and childish. She's your cousin and best friend and should respect the decisions you have chosen either way.
Maybe talk to another friend about it and see what they think.
Hope this helps.
62. I would try and determine if she is condescending in general or does it just relate to the relationship with you and your boyfriend.
If it's just you and your boyfriend she's not happy about, sit down with her and address it. It could very well be she is jealous, it could be she wants her best friend and is worried about losing you to him, it could be that she has legitimate concerns about your relationship with him. Get her to turn her communication from condescending to honest and open discussions.
As long as your communication can be respectful, even if you end up disagreeing about things, you both can continue to be valuable friends to one another.
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