My boyfriend and i have been dating over a year. and We are in our first year at college. We go to different colleges. The one i am in is notably a better school. Before we went to college, he told me over and over again that he wanted to try and transfer here as soon as he could.
But ever since he got there, he never mentions it. He mentions getting a house with some friends next year and things he wants to do there the rest of his years there. And now he says to me, "We will be together in 4 years." instead of "soon we will be together."
How do i let him know that this really hurts me and bothers me?
Answers:
1. Talk to him about it, if hes a really good bf he'll understand.
2. Maybe he's just comfortable with where he is right now.
3. College is not a time to to be burdened by a serious relationship. It is a time to do some growing out of your parents' shadow and become the adult you are going to be. Trying to do that while ensconced in a relationship with your high school sweetheart is difficult and stressful, if not impossible.
Sounds like your boyfriend has realized that, and rather than stifle this critical growing process, he is going to indulge in it, and plans on reuniting with you when it is over. You would do well to do the same.
4. The best thing you could do is talk to him about it.. Don't hold anything back.. But, keep in mind he's probley made some friends and started a life with his new college so try to be sensitive to that area.. Don't be a b*itch and demand him to leave and try to solve the problem as mature adults.
5. hes happy at his school give him a break. you asking him to leave a school that he may like is you being selfish. and when he does do u want him to resent you on missing out on being on his own.
6. I think he is scared to rush into anything. You might think that you love each other but he is scared to committ think about it if he transfors to your school just for you and then later that year you break up. Then he is left with nothing. No furture ahead at this school. I might be a stupid teenager but trust me don't force him or beg. If the time is right and the future is bright he will come to you.
7. If you are not engaged you cannot expect him to give us his college of choice. College is one of the major choices that we make in our lives. One we cannot make over a boyfriend or girlfirend. We have plenty of time to see them during breaks and holidays. These are important years of development and he has apparently chosen to stay where he is. Forcing him to go to your college will only weaken your relationship. Trust and security should already be there for him being at another college should not be a problem.
If you push too hard you may lose the one you love. Why does this hurt you? He didn't say he doesn't love you? He just chooses to go to college somewhere else? Men do not like jealousy and pushiness. Give him a break and some time. Let him make his own decision. Go visit him but make sure he knows you are coming. That should soothe your mind.
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