Is it the new thing to have 2 showers - a traditional and a personal shower? My friend got married earlier this year and had 2. my brother is getting married soon, I am in the wedding and am wondering if I am supposed to give the bride a 'personal' shower. My mother and her aunt are both giving her traditional bridal showers.
Answers:
1. These days, brides usually have more than one shower to make it convenient for family members who may have to travel, or they do it with each side of the family seperately. You are under no obligation to throw her a shower.
2. never heard of
such a greedy
tradition
3. What's a "personal" shower? How is that different from a traditional one?
4. yes, have the church shower/large traditional
then have a small group of friends and a lingerie shower........make it fun
5. Yes, its totally acceptable, and the complete opposite of being greedy.... unless the bride is the one throwing them both!
Your gramma might want to see your new lingerie, but she might faint at the sight of the oversize sex toy your work friends buy you as a joke!
6. My daughter just got married and we only had 1 shower.
7. That's not new, at least not where I'm from. When my friends were getting married 20-25 years ago, this was very common. But, the personal shower was always very small--just very close friends at someone's house (didn't usually include the moms and aunts and such). Usually, the group of girls went out to a bar after the personal shower--a concept that later evolved into the bachelorette party. So, I think if you're helping with the bachelorette party that should be enough.
8. Having two with different people can put a new spin on the bridal shower.
9. no, you don't have to give her another shower. It's usually just one for each side of the families. Sometimes they combine them into one. but as bridesmaids you'll be in charge of the bachelorette party!!!!
10. I have never heard of such a thing. What the heck? I had one shower and everyone was invited to that ONE.. My family, his family, my friends, former co-workers....
11. You could have several, depends on a lot of things, like
where you live, where the families live, how large the families
are, etc. A co-worker's daughter got married this summer,
some friends of her parents' threw a couples shower that was
really a cocktail party. Then the bride's dad's side of the family had one in their home town for the groom's family to
meet the brides' aunts, uncles, cousins. Then the groom's
family had one in another state to introduce the bride to his
side of the family. And some friends of the bride threw one
for their "couples" friends. And the bride is in law school,
so some of her closest friends and classmates had one
for her there. You can have as many as you want, or as many
as people want to have for you!
12. A shower is a party you give for the purpose of showering gifts upon some needy person who is NOT a member of your own family. (To solicit gifts for your own family is too greedy to be polite.) By definition, all brides and expectant mothers are needy.
It is not incorrect if several people choose to give a shower for the same guest of honor. For example, the bride's neighbors might give her one shower and people from her square dance club give her another. It is when guest lists start to overlap that the situation gets sticky. If I received a shower invitation, and the person who issued that invitation was aware that I had already attended a shower for the same bride, I'd be feeling rather put upon and pissed off. So would most people.
OK, new topic. Please borrow a Miss Manners or Emily Post from your library and tactfully point out to you mother that she ought not to host a shower for her own family-to-be. Find a friend to act as host. BTW, there is no rule against the guest of honor's relatives giving a lot of help to this non-family host, help like buying food and decor, paying for postage, running errands and so on are fine. (Ah, the subtle technicalities of Excrutiatingly Correct Behavior!)
And now I'll finally stop dithering about nuance and actually answer your question. (1) If you don't know what the bride expects, find out before you make any cash outlay. Get a detailed list of just what she (and anyone else involved) expects you to spend, to do. (2) If hosting a shower for her is on the list, I hope you'll suggest helping a non-relative to host that shower instead of hosting it yourself.
13. I've heard of multiple showers, but which have different people invited. For example, one for family, one for friends, one given by the people at work.
I don't know what a personal shower is. Do you mean where people bring gifts for grooming or of lingerie?
14. i think it is too much to ask of the friends that would make 3
15. If you are the maiden of honor, I think its supposed to be on you to give her showers (or bridesmaid) but what we did for my sister's wedding was we had a traditional family and friend's party... ya know a place where you wouldnt be afriad to bring your young children LOL! THEN we did her a "personal" shower/ bachelorette party and got her stuff like lingerie and other FUN things haha! Of course we didnt invite like our mom! grandma's... just close friends and sisters and stuff... BUT if you are planning a big bacheloretta party then I would say no... really you dont have to do either... but its fun. You dont have to decorate much...
16. No, not at all. There have always been cases where close friends have a more private kind of get-together to have a lingerie shower, or just be 'naughtier' than one could be at a traditional shower. Sometimes it's just the bachelorette party.
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