I am an american boy you is hopelessly in love with a friend that is an Asian Indian girl who was raised here(US) at a young age. She has strict parents and brothers. They won't allow her to date nor let her be seen with a boy. We are both in our early 20s, and have known each other for a year now. We are very close friends and coworkers. We have this "secret friendship" that her family members don't know about nor do our coworkers. I told her my feelings a couple of months ago and told me she doesn't feel the same way, but we still continue to be close friends. We once talked about the issue of marriage in her culture, which is arranged marriage. She told me she would marry a friend. My problem is if I should continue my friendship with this girl, yet I really do not want to end it because she is special to me. I only ask this because I believe it will hurt me in the long run. Need some advice.
Answers:
1. 9 hours ago
Should I continue being friends with this girl?
2. 9 hours ago
If I were to end this friendship, how do I do it?
3. Please proof read what you wrote because I don't understand what you are trying to say.
4. Basically they'll have an obvious distaste towards non-Indians or neighbouring countries. Usually for some reason they consider all Americans to be of a bad stereotype, keep trying to get her to like you, and if all works, confront her parents (Although don't expect results, seriously), you may not get THEIR approval, but you'll gain respect from their daughter.
Hope that helped.
5. I think that being a good friend is a good start, and if the time comes for you two to be together, talk to the parents about it. Besides, she is an adult after all, doesn't she have her rights as an adult to do as she pleases, I mean this isn't the middle ages!!
6. if she says she doesn't feel the same way, she doesn't feel the same way. it won't change, either. and although her culture believes in arranged marriages, it doesn't mean that she'll be in one, nor does it mean she'll marry a friend she really doesn't love.
you should only continue the relationship if you think you'll be able to handle it once she starts dating...or if you hear one day that she's going to marry someone.
you are asking for heartache--and trouble--if you continue a friendship with the secret hope of making her love you. it won't happen.
no matter what her background is--being raised in the US will undoubtedly affect her. also--you will have to deal with her family and their issues. even as a friend.
if you cherish her friendship that much--you need to tell yourself she's only a friend, and will never be anything more. if you believe that--then your friendship has a chance. if you don't--then you are setting yourself up for pain.
good luck to you.
7. i am married to a asian man from pakistan i understand about the arranged marrage. i think you shouldnt push her to hard because in the long run a asian girl will most likly follow what her mother says so that means she will probly be married in her own country when shes ready to get married they are big on religion so she will probly have a arranged marrage but good luck. not only that but some asian people dont like americans that might be whats wrong with her mother
8. indian parents are very sensitive to giving their daughter away in marriage. btw i am from india but settled here. they dont approve of kids going out together or having boyfriends, kissing and definitely no premarital affairs. I would suggest that you first learn some indian customs and traditions and then try to approach their parents. Its only worth trying to do all this if you really love her and want to marry her.
Also india has many subsects of religions in hinduism. try to find more about her family customs and maybe try to impress her. Take your parents with you when asking her hand in marriage to her parents.
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