I work as a desk clerk at a hotel, and the hotel I work for only rents room to business men. So I meets lots of men at least five days a week. And lots of them like to flirt. When one of them asks if I have a boyfriend or if I'm married, sometimes I will say yes and other times I'll just laugh it off. And I never just offer up that information (i have a tendency to hardly ever wear my ring because I don't like it). Is that wrong? Is that some form of cheating? I've never taken up the offers to take me out to eat or get a drink since I've been married. However, before I was married when I was upset with him I did a couple times, and I've never told him about it. Should I come clean?
Answers:
1. you need to state that your married..
you are misleading people and not being honest...esp if the flirting get too far gone.
2. Would you be upset if women flirted with your husband everyday and he would not admit to be married?
3. it depends if you flirt back. if not i think it is alright because people do it all the time you just kinda got to ignore it and just when they ask let them know. or else do where the ring and when ever someone flirts just kinda put your hand on the desk or on your face to show it to them.. that way you wont have to say anything but they will know.
4. it seems as if you are on the road to cheating. you should be honest with the men and inform them that you are married. if you are uphappy with your husband - speak to him and let him know. don't just cheat on him because you have numerous opportunities.
5. I wouldn't bring up dinner or a drink if that is all it really was. However, put yourself in his shoes. Would you want him to let other women know immediately that he was married if they were flirting with him? If you have trouble making the right decisions just ask yourself what you would want him to do in that situation and whether or not you would consider him cheating if he did those things.
6. You are just grooving on the attention. It is good for your ego and is hurting no one, unless you step over the line and you know exactly what I am talking about.
7. Well, think you should wear your wedding ring as you are married. You really don't have to advertise that you are single or married and I know it is part of your job to be pleasant to people. Just don't be what you are not and that is available to them for anything but doing your job at work. If they flirt, don't flirt back, be courteous, pleasant and such, but you are married and you must have boundaries set.
8. you should feel honored that you are married. 9 out of 10 of these men are married.. why would you want to mess yours and their marriage up?
9. If you're still thinking about it, it's obviously bothering you.
Maybe if you did tell him about it, it would help you resist taking up any offers in the future. Also you should preface the story by saying that you want to get it off your chest because you love him and you want to be honest with something that still bothers you.
You really should be wearing your ring though.
Ask yourself what you would want him to do.
10. If it's harmless flirting then I see no reason to volunteer such information. But, on the other hand, if a man comes right out and asks you to go out with him, then you need to let him know you're not free to do so. To actually take up one of these men on such an offer would be cheating...
11. no you don't have to tell him that, but if you think you need to tell him then do it.
yes, you should not be flirting you are just asking for trouble.
12. not ok
13. honestly and humanly, flirting is a game, it is more like a game of teasing between men and women. Do not take it seriously because I am sure even these business men are not in it seriously, they are just enjoying the game of flirting and you are not under any obligation to start giving your life details.
14. Sweetie keep your mouth shut about the pass and tell the truth about the present.
15. (NO) BECAUSE YOUR PAST MAY COME BACK TO HAUNT YOU !! WHATEVER YOU DID B4 KEEP IT THAT WAY!!!! NOW YOUR RING IT'S YOUR VOW 2 HIM & GOD && I SHOULD NOT HAVE 2 TELL YOU THAT IN A WAY 2 ME SOMETHING IS MISSING IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP I THINK YOU SHOULD FIND IT OR LET IT GO!!!!!!!
YOUR FRIEND
K.G.
16. If coming clean will help you to have a better marriage now, do it. Guilt is a terrible thing to hang onto. However, if you're not really bothered by what you did before you were married, don't tell your husband. It may make him think you've got something going on now.
I don't think disclosing your personal information to customers is something you should feel obligated to do (especially if you get tips as a result of the men flirting), but if you're AT ALL thinking about taking someone up on an offer, you should make it a habit to tell people you're married. It will remind YOU that you're married. Avoid giving in to any sort of temptation. It sounds like you're on the brink as it is, so it's time to reel yourself back in.
17. NO as bad as this sounds don't tell him anything about the past (BAD BAD BAD) but why don't you always tell the guys that you are married instead of just "laughing it off" because i'll bet your husband wouldn't think it's funny as i'm sure you wouldn't think so either if the tables were reversed which raises the question why don't you like to wear your ring, do you not like to wear it only at work or do you never like to wear it
what it all comes down to is you should act the same away from your as you do when you are with him and treat him with the same respect as you want to be treated with
18. I won't tell you what to do, or what not to do, you made your bed etc.etc.etc. But living a double life is not fair to your husband or yourself. A Tendency to hardly ever wearing your wedding rings only opens possible opportunities for YOU! Maybe you're hoping for a better offer than the marriage you are in? Looking for Mr. Right, or Mr. Just For Tonight? You seem like you require and desire a lot of attention from Men other then your current husband.
My conclusion: You are what your thoughts and actions dictate. I believe there is more to this hotel story you're not telling!!!!
19. My idea of cheating is this.
If you wouldn't do or say something in front of your spouse, don't do it behind their backs.
20. I believe you don't disclose that information because you like the attention. I guess it's innocent for now, but if you're feeling that weak about your marital status, what happens if one of those men actually puts on the charm and pushes you to the next limit of "having a drink" or an "extended" late night conversation, when you have just had a bad day at home and one of those regular arguments everybody has with their spouse? Fighting temptation and momentary weaknesses are hard even when you set clear boundaries and show discipline as a family man/woman, but if your boundaries are not even strong to begin with, you're setting yourself up for failure.
Not wearing a ring is not a big deal, some just don't like wearing jewelry, but that doesn't mean you leave your marital status at home with the ring LOL.
I, personally, think flirting is OK, but this is something you and husband have to come to an agreement with and feel the same way about, there are two people in a marriage, your happiness is not all that counts, neither is the pursuit of your selfish needs. Also, the rules should be adjusted according to what people can and cannot handle. Freedom comes with responsiblity.
I wouldn't worry about disclosing the information about the past. I would put the guilt you feel about the past to prevent you from behaving similarly in the present and future. Nothing will be fixed by you disclosing the information, it will only bring distrust and stress. Learn from the past and make sure you set the boundaries for yourself and those you interact with. Also, you needing attention tells another story about your confidence level and needing to feel wanted. Maybe this is a conversation you want to have with your husband where he can meet your need, instead of you seeking it out elsewhere.
Good luck!
21. If its someone you will not see again and it doesn't go furthur than flirting I don't see a problem
22. No harm done. you will probably never see these people again, if you not acting on anything than I would say its ok. I know a lot of people that are waitresses and they take off their wedding ring while working because it brings them more tips, is this wrong? No.
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