i have recently divorced my ex. my good friend advice me to only date men that matches my education (mba), financials (above 65,000), religion (baptist), and culture (african american). my ex had his high school diploma, made about the same as i did, was cathloic, and white. currently, i am dating a white guy who also only has a high school education, earns 3x more than i do financial, and southern baptist. i really do like this guy and enjoy every minute with him. i have more fun, deep conversations, and great time with him more than the doctors and lawyers i have dated. how important is it really to date someone with that matches all 4 components? are there anyone that follow this idea and if so how is your love life? are there anyone who does not and have successfull love lives? should i be concerned because the guy that i am dating only has a high school education? thank you
Answers:
1. VERY
2. It can be really important if that's what your looking for. If not then it really doesn't matter.
3. You need professional help.
4. it may seem important but NOTHING can guaranty a life long partnership/relationship - people keep changing
5. It is important, but is not the only way to do it... there is not a formula for love, but is a good idea to look for a person the is similar to you in some basic issues, that way you will avoid lots of conflicts. But being different also gives more excitemente to the relationship... so, it is all about communication and understandin each other
6. Someone's educational level should NOT go into this decision. I'm twenty-two and I have my high school diploma - that's it. I hope that people aren't judging *me* because I can't afford college. Life gets in the way of education sometimes.
Race should not matter in the least. If you like the person you like them.
Religion *does* matter a great deal. That is something you should pay close attention to. That will save you a lot of heart aches down the road. My father is a devoted Christian and married a woman who doesn't give the slightest about religion. He wants to go to seminary and she has been having a fit about it for a long time. Sometimes it works out -- but it is a hard road to be on.
I don't know about financial. It doesn't matter to me in the slighted. I could date a man who makes $100,000 a year or a man who makes $20,000. Doesn't matter.
Politics matter. They matter a great deal.
7. Religion should be a guideline, for sure.Because, anyone takes their faith to heart.
Anything else, marry first for love!
I have dated a couple of rich guys, they were no fun.
They were so into showing off how much money they could spend.They lost imagination on how to have "fun".
They wanted to be "seen" as "socially" acceptable, and successful.
I like to be taken out for a nice dinner,get all dressed up.But, all the time.No, sometimes I'm just fine eating at local hamburger joints.
If you love someone, you'll will have gotten to know them.Color won't matter! Respecting and wanting to learn about their culture means everything!
Take care!
8. Don't make a checklist, which yours almost sounded like.... we're talking about people here, not robots.
I think what you're getting at is that you need to find some sense of strong compatability, along with protection from a fear of being taken advantage of.
It also depends on if you're dating for fun, or to find a husband. If the latter, you hv to decide how important these things are... I can say that religion is very important, and most don't realize it until its too late.
Seems like you got your head on pretty straight... trust your judgement, it seems to be pretty sound.
9. those are just labels those are not the things that make you, well you. as long as each person respects the other person and accept there differences it shouldn't matter
10. It really depends on how important each of these components is to you. I mean, you can add to this list and make it as inclusive as you want - for some people, it's important to date a vegetarian, or a person who likes kids, or any number of things. But ultimately it's the combination of traits in a particular person that attracts us and keeps us interested. For me personally, financial and intellectual compatibility is a must, above other things. For other people, sexual compatibility can be a #1 consideration, and they will be willing to compromise on other components. As far as education is concerned, I don't think the actual degree is terribly important - I've met plenty of intelligent people who didn't have a formal degree, and one or two ignorant folks with MDs amd PhDs. I also don't know if "cultural" compatibility is THAT important; I've never even dated anyone from my own culture (I've lived in the States since I was 18) - so I always had to adapt to another culture, and it's never been a problem; might be more of a problem for others - I don't know. Religious compatibility, for me, ties in with the intellectual compatibility; I hold certain beliefs that are important to my world view, and I certainly expect for my partner to share them in great degree - a radically different philosophy or set of beliefs would be a deal-breaker. But again, it's different for different people. Figure out what feels right to you, and go for it. Don't worry about check boxes, look at the bigger picture.
11. You have got to be joking. You think you are smarter than him so this is obviously a problem.
12. He only needs to match your level of intelligence and not be a loser financially. Even if he didn't go to college he can still be very smart with important things to say. Rarely does anybody have the same culture anymore. An African American born in a big city in Washington is from a different culture then an African American raised in a small town in Louisiana, skin color doesn't define culture. I know very few couples with similar backgrounds, both are from huge Italian families on the east coast. That one aspect doesn't make their relationship work, their commitment to each other is what keeps them together.
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