Moving in together?

1. i'm in a really similar situation. my bf and i have even been dating for the same amount of time. from what i've heard from older friends is that moving in together will either make or break your relationship. if your entire relationship has been long distance, then try getting your own places first. you will be able to adjust better as far as having your own space and seeing each other more often. if you have ever lived in the same city then i think you'll be okay. as far as your parents go, wouldn't they rather see you shack up with someone and experience more responsibility rather than jumping into a marriage that has a great potential to fail (if you're not used to one another in the same home)? My mother told me she'd rather see me "shack up" than get married. The only difference is insurance policies and papers from the state. I think you should just do it if you're excited about it and you know you are committed to one another. You'll never know what it's like until you do it! Just be prepared to compromise and deal with his annoying habits! I'm moving in with my boyfriend next year and we've already decided that he has a separate room for watching sports center...that show drives me nuts. ahahha. good luck to you and your future together!

2. My initial reaction to your question, I'm sorry to say, is a negative one. WHAT'S WITH THE ULTIMATUM? He seems to be saying "I will only come to your city if I can live with you." He does not appear to be considering the entirely valid points that you are raising. HOW MUCH TIME HAVE YOU ACTUALLY SPENT TOGETHER? Absence DOES make the heart grow fonder and if you have only seen him in person every now and again for the last two and one half years then you're darn tootin' it's too soon to be living together. Even married couples who apart for long periods of time have a hard time readjusting to living together again. I have been married for 33 years, and last year my wife joined me in Taiwan after being apart for three months. I did everything right--got rid of all the beer cans, didn't park my motorcycle in the living room anymore, and did a bunch of housework. That's not as bad as it sounds. Houses in Taiwan have living rooms that open to the street, and concrete tile floors. You can safeguard a motorbike against theft by parking indoors. I KNOW THAT YOU ARE CLOSE TO YOUR PARENTS, BUT I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY YOU ARE SO WORRIED ABOUT DISPLEASING THEM. Autonomous adults make decisions, and their parents either accept those decisions--or not. I think your instincts are correct about wanting to maintain separate residences in the same city--at least until you see how things go.

3. First of all your parents are right in saying that. They said it because of the fact that it will jeopardize you future marriage especially if it's not with this guy. And honestly if you guys have gone this long with out doing it than you can go a little longer. It's not like he's going to break up with you cause you can't live together! And if he does than it wasn't worth it.

4. Totally agreeing with the second and third responders here. If you guys have been apart for this long, then seriously what is going on with the ultimatum like this? I mean if he is getting restless now, then he should be man enough to tell you. I no sense in you moving to his city and going to school, to be closer to him, only to find out that he has already made the move in decision or he is gone. I don't like how that sounds at all. Now as for your parents, I know they don't control your life but if you really respect them and value their opinion, I think you would try to hold off and wait before shacking up with anybody. I mean for some people they move in and the plan is to get married soon after so it doesn't seem so bad. But usually that doesn't happen right off or at all. As most couples get so settled into just living together they have no aspirations after that period. And eventually one of the partner's will say "what is the point of marriage, since we live together and have sex and all that?" And see right there, that simple question will either make you realize that the guy is right or that you will never get what you truly want. Because he is more interested in being your roomie for free without really being your "man" anymore. So people are indeed correct on saying that shacking up can make or break a relationship. And the over all thing here, is are YOU truly ready for him to move in? I mean, you both have been so long distant for the last few years, what makes you think shacking up will make you more familar with this guy? I mean he can be a totally different person that you think you know when you lived far apart. But when you are in that tight a space of an apartment, he could show you, his true self and you might just be flabbergasted. I mean he might fart more, or cuss more. Do all the things you never would have expected from him. So I say you should stop and think if its really worth it, to continue a relationship based off an ultimatum, your own values, and how much you really know about this guy. And then make your decision. Don't let love or lust fool you into rushing into this and end up getting hurt more than you know. If the guy is really worth the time and effort he wouldn't be giving you such choices like this. He would let you make up your own mind. And I think you should do that before you make any definite plans about your future.