I'm newly divorced and dating a great guy on wealthyromance.com(at least he seems great after five dates). Things seem to be progressing so quickly ? I'm excited but also wary. He has a daughter, and he wants me and my son to go to a movie with him and his daughter, but I'm not sure if it's too soon to introduce him to my son. I'm afraid my son will think I'm trying to replace his father. Help!
Answers:
1. Theres always that possibility no matter how long you wait ... how old is your son? ... how old is his daughter? ... having the kids interact may make it easier???
2. Listen to your gut, because I really can't tell you how soon. It would be to soon after the first or second date, but after the fifth there could be strong feelings between the two of you (very important) and you must know him well enough. I'd say see how you feel around this guy. Just listen to what your gut says, but it seems like he is a nice man and if he wants his daughter to meet you, then it just might be the right time! Also, try to talk to your son. He might want a word in on this.
3. STOP NOW, slow down, and please back off! You are rebounding and you are going to wake up some day and realize you are in love with an image, not this man! Give this at least 6 months before introducing anyone to your son...he needn't go through a string of "dates" at this point in life. When things progress "so quickly, " there is a reason for it. How long has he been single? This could easily be a case where you are both rebounding, but regardless, you certainly are. Take it easy, gal..if this is real, it will be real in 6 months. If it is not, no harm will have been done to your child, and you certainly do not want to harm your child. Also, please be careful about what you are doing, if this guy is for real, it could well be you are going to hurt him badly...so slow down now. Love and peace, Goldwing
4. if your gut suggests caution, listen!
5. That's alot to put your son through. Sounds like it would only be best to expose him to someone you are very serious with, AND that a marriage would be in the future.
6. Why not?
Its just a movie ...and you're allowed to have friends!!!
7. talk to your son, let him know u want to move on with your life and need his understanding, and ask him how he feels.
communication is the way.......
8. Yes, it is too soon to introduce him to your son. Just because things are progressing quickly for you doesn't mean it should be for your child. It's bad enough he has lost his original home, he doesn't need any extra drama in his life. He doesn't need to have his father being replaced by someone who possibly won't stay in his life. Save the kid the trouble and keep this new "internet honey" to yourself.
9. You're wise to look at how your dating might impact your son. Regardless of when you introduce a possible partner to him, he is likely to interpret that you are "replacing his father." More important is that you don't create a situation where he might bond with someone that you are unsure about. Parents who have a steady entourage of relationships through their childrens' lives can create confusion and emotional pain. When the parent decides the relationship isn't going to work out, the child has to grieve the loss of someone they have bonded with. Some children will protect themselves by distancing themselves or just emotionally shutting down. Others will become angry and act out. Before introducing a possible partner into your child's life, be as sure as you can that this is a serious relationship for you. Some of your dates might not understand...those who will share your commitment to protect your son while you conduct relationship research will respect you.
10. Give it some time. If you are not feeling comfortable, then you need to wait. You will know when the right time will come.
11. Yahoo answers shouldn't allow websites in questions asked. All this question is.. is an advertisement for wealthyromance.com.
Stop answering this question, it's just spam!
12. Your instinct is telling you that it's too soon, so listen to that.
13. I do think it's too soon. Be patient.
14. It's not to soon if this guy is going to be a part of your life. Explain to your son what is going on and that you're not trying to replace his father for him.
15. Why not ask him if he wants to meet him and also sit down and tell him that you're not trying to replace his father you're just trying to do what's better to help the family unless that's not the case. Just don't lie to him ok? Good luck! : )
16. If you're having doubts then wait until you are more comfortable. Five dates isn't a lot of time to really get to know anyone and if you met this guy online then you need to be really sure. Meeting your son is a big step and you wouldn't want to bring a total stanger in his life without being sure yourself of his character.
17. Tell him you're not ready to introduce him to your son. If he's really that great (like you were saying), he should understand that. Besides if you just had 5 dates, you couldnt say that you know very well. Take time and good luck. :D
18. I think that your son will see the little girl and say "wow' I have someone to play with, the children will bee thinking about playing around you will be thinking about grownup stiff.
Just let the children lead the way and watch what happens.
19. NO! NO! NO! You never introduce kids into the mix until you are absolutely 99% sure this person is gonna be around for a long time. Kids get attached to grown ups easily and esp if they are part of a divorce. You might break up with this guy in 6 mos and kids don't understand all the dynamics of dating or divorce and dating of men. If you want to date~~do so, but leave your kids of it....no matter what the sacrifice YOU have to make....think of your kids first.
And do not try sneaking a man in after they are asleep thinking he will leave before they wake up.....it doesn't work and they see and hear everything you are doing!
20. It's a good rule of thumb to never introduce your kids to your dates until you get a solid feeling that they might be around for the long haul. Otherwise, a never-ending succession of father figures that don't materialize could seriously harm your son's psychological well-being. Until you're ready to committ, don't start the bonding process, because there's no need to disappoint a kid already bummed by a divorce.
21. If you feel it's too soon (and you obviously do) then it is. It's better to make sure your son is ready to understand and accept a new man in your life. Make sure you date him a bit longer before you even tell your son. Don't introduce him to your son until you know that this man is going to be around for awhile. There is no sense in upsetting your son, or letting him get attached to someone who may or may not be in the picture long term. It's a sensitive issue, no matter how old your child is. Be careful, and include your son in your choices. Good luck.
22. EXPLAIN TO YOUR SON THE GUY IS JUST A FRIEND, GO TO THE MOVIES, AND SEE HOW THEY INTERACT. JUST TAKE IT SLOW AND DON'T PUSH THE GUY ON HIM. IF THINGS DO GET SERIOUS, TELL HIM HIS DAD WILL ALWAYS BE HIS DAD, AND DON'T LET THE GUY TAKE OVER THE ROLE.
23. First of all life moves on there's nothing wrong with you wanting to be with someone, but when you have a child To consider, you may want to slow it down, for one you don't know this man, 5 date s is not enough time for you to be thinking about making a new family and then you meet this man on wealthyromance.com sounds like your looking 4 wealth and not love, and why would anyone that was wealthy want to meet someone on-line sounds like they may have a problem, you should be very weary your son may need time to heal from the hurt of the divorce, I'm not saying someday but now may be to early for you and him.
P.S are you ready to be another child's mother.
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