I have been looking at stats and all, and I have heard in the past that people, even fiance/fiancees have a horrible, or broken marriage based on the fact that they had sex before marriage. There are claims that there is little trust, that if they are willing to have sex before, then it gets old in marriage, or are hard to trust later in life because of that, and there are a lot of hard feelings and such. My question is, from those who have been in this situation, is it true all the time, or only in a few instances, or not at all?
Answers:
1. 2 hours ago
To be fair, most of these things come from Christian sites and all. I was looking this up, for curiousity, and wondering if premaritial sex would be okay (with plans on marrying this person anyway).
2. How old are you? And where did you hear such nonsense? So if I got engaged at age 26, should I have waited until now? What about people who get married in their 30s or 40s?
No, it is good to have your wild days before you settle down. It is nothing wrong to have sex before you decide someone to marry. However, if you are under 20, then it doesn't apply you. There is no urge to marry or even have sex for you!
3. to me, all relationships in this culture will follow the same path. sex causes another step to begin. it will be the same, just on different time tables.
4. now days its try before you buy
5. Your stats are from insecure people. Sex before marriage does not ruin a marriage. The couple ruins their marriage.
I lived with the man before getting married and in 2 out of 3 instances sex was great before and after. It wasn't the reason for my marriages failing. We failed to evolve past the infatuation into the friendship.
6. i can only speak for me and my friends. sex before marriage has not been a problem for any of us.
7. As you said. Consider the source. Christan sites spouting their statistics.
Sex prior to marriage should not effect the happiness and health of a marriage built on trust, compassion, and communication.
8. It is unethical to have sex before marriage.
9. No, the only hard thing is when your children ask if you were a virgin when you married. I have to be honest and say 'no.'
Edit: Oh and I've been married to the same man for 26 years.
10. This whole line is ridiculous! I wouldn't even consider marrying someone I hadn't at least lived with at least one year...makes no sense what so ever. Would you want to take a chance that your mate doesn't have a sex drive? Not all men do, and not all women do. Put a highly sexed person with a person with a low sex drive and you have a mixture for divorce...quickly. Not very wise. It is so easy to get married, and so difficult to get unmarried. Good luck and peace, Goldwing
11. i dont think sex before marriage is a bad thing.
well, i personally wanted to remain a virgin until i was married because to me, it was something personal and private to be shared with the man i love.
i didnt want my hubbyto be a virgin though, i wanted him to know the ropes so he could guide me!!!
my hubby loved the fact that he was the only guy to have ever ventured down under.
i also dont think that marriages re doomed if they coupke have had sex beforehand.
i hate the fact that my hubby has been with other women but not out of jealously...well, maybe a little, i just hate the fact that someone else got to share that part of him
i believe that people pasts is what makes them who they are today.
it really depends on the maturity levels of the couple in question and how they feel about previous sexual partners and if they choose to let it get to them.
12. Marriages are ruined by the people in them...and usually because they got married for the wrong reasons. Loving someone isn't the best reason to marry. No matter how long you stay in the kitchen, you're not going to make chocolate cake with bologna and bread. The same goes for a marriage. Someone can be a great sex partner, dance partner and look good in and out of designer clothes, but if they don't have the qualities to make a good relationship partner the chances of a successful marriage is nil. People who are looking for someone else to complete them or believe that someone will or should make them happy are not good relationship material. And successful marriages take work...ask any couple that has one. We live in a disposable society...and marriages have become part of the trash pile. If the marriage isn't going well...get a divorce. The problem is that we seek out people who are common demoninators. If we were healthier...we wouldn't put up with their problems...if they were healthier...they wouldn't put up with ours. Sex before marriage won't ruin a marriage...living together won't guarantee one. Research has proven the contrary.
13. Will premartial sex ruin your marriage - no. But if you have waited to this point - wait a little longer. Your wedding night will be the most special night of your whole life.
As far as it getting old in marriage - that happens. Either the couple works on keeping the marriage hot and exciting or it becomes predictable. Either way if you are both commited to the marriage then it won't be a big deal.
14. I chose to remain a virgin until marriage. I have never regretted it.
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