To better see what attracts women to men, I tried the following experiment on an online personals dating site. (It wasn't Yahoo Personals; so no need, Mr./Ms. administrator, to delete my Answers account here as punishment.) It was short in duration so as to limit its necessary unethical effect: Three false profiles were created, messages sent to six users, the profiles then deleted after any responses came back. No identifiable or private information is contained here; data is of a general nature.
Steps:
1.) Created "Profile 1": a well-written, thoughtful, detailed portrait of a successful, educated man with mature interests, mature behavior, and good ethical character. Excellent varied prose. Good humor and wit. No photo, but in six messages to six randomly-selected women, a (public domain, random) photo was attached of a rather homely man.
>>[Question continued in "details" section below.]<<
Answers:
1. 3 hours ago 2.) Created "Profile 2": a moderately well-written profile, slightly less detailed, a bit less maturity, showing not quite as much success or education. Less humor; humor of a more bland variety. No photo on the profile, but in six messages to the same six women that "Profile 1" sent to, a (public domain, random) photo of an average-looking man was attached.
3.) Created "Profile 3": a profile with a (public domain) picture posted on the ad of an extremely handsome man. The profile described sort of a dumb sporty guy. Rather immature self-description. Lack of depth and thoughtfulness to the writing. Shallow, thin, locker-room humor. Somewhat poor grammar. A general lack of concern for the readers. A short ad. Generally an uneducated portrait with no public mention of good character or intentions of high ideals. Almost a defiance portrayed. This profile sent six messages to the same six women as "1" and "2" sent to.
2. 3 hours ago Notes:
-All three profiles were from the same geographic area; they had the same age, height, body type, drining/smoking habits, and marital status.
-All messages sent were of a similar nonrevealing generic vague value, with the significant variables being the profiles' content and the attached photos.
Results:
-Homely intelligent upstanding man got the least "views" by site users (relative to the other two ads), and no replies from the six women.
-All-around average guy got a few more profile views, but likewise no replies from the six women.
-Unintelligent stud got the most views (out of these three ads) from site users, and three of the six women replied.
3. 3 hours ago --------
The nature of the women's e-mails to "3" is perhaps revealing: The content contained seemingly deliberate use of "lol"s scattered about, "u" in place of "you," rather deliberately incomplete grammar, and a general giggliness feigning stupidity or naivte. (In comparison to the female senders' more even-toned, otherwise normally intelligent profiles.)
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Questions: (in addition to the title of this article, which may be answered) (and bearing in mind that the evidence may or may not be applicable in offline face-to-face contact)
-Do women generally look for looks over other traits, and are assertions to the contrary, on average, untrue?
-Why do women not look for moral character as a primary trait, if indeed the experiment reveals this?
-What is the homely man or average man supposed to do under these circumstances?
4. 3 hours ago -Are women, in general, offended or even repulsed by the very nature of a homely or average-looking man, to the exclusion of other information about such men?
-We hear often that men are more looks-oriented, and harsher judges in this regard, than women. Is this true, or less true, today? Do changing gender roles, increased disposable income of women, and increased financial affluence and financial independence of women relative to men, allow for more discerned "picking and choosing" by women using criteria now weighted more heavily toward looks (as relative to how previous generations of women behaved)?
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Thank you for your time, in both reading and answering.
5. desperate much ?
6. No, but it matters. Personally, it's not a man's physical appearance (as in how noble his nose looks etc) that matters to me. It's more his physical demeanor, that speaks volumes about his personality. A man's demeanor, appearance and his general expression can tell alot about his personality, temperament, intellect, sensitivity, confidence, etc, which most women (those that are looking for something long-term, anyway) value.
Of course, if you are super good-looking, you probably have a better chance of being noticed. But I'd say, it doesn't favor your likeability all that much, where women are concerned.
So, to get noticed by the majority of women, I'd say your archetypal good looks matter. But, to spark a womans interest, your physical appearance would have to give the right messages.
See, if you look like a handsome daredevil, but your demeanor screams of your conceited attitude, a girl would most likely flirt with you, but never take you home. : )
7. Considering these were on line profiles, the results will be skewed. By this I mean there is now way to know actually what a person is like except what the profile states, which more often than not are lies. Therefore the woman only have one thing to go on and that is looks. In reality, the average or even the less than average guy might get attention depending on his behavior. Would I agree that women look for looks, to a degree, but only when there is nothing else truly offered. I know I would rather have an average guys with brains and personality than a looker who is brain dead.
8. NO!
Looks are TOTALLY UNIMPORTANT.
You think Heather Locklear and Pamela Anderson - WHO HAVE THEIR WORLDWIDE PICK OF MEN - both got together with Tommy Lee because he was the BEST LOOKING????
Not in a MILLION years.
That's all the proof you ever need.
Nevermind the internet, because it affords people the chance to present themselves in a way that they WANT TO BE SEEN BY YOU. . . . NOT THE WAY THEY ACTUALLY ARE.
. . . and everybody KNOWS IT.
It's ALOT harder to pull that off in the real world.
Furthermore . . . when it comes down to COMING ACROSS ONLINE, you need to acknowledge that -->> WORDS are only 7% of communication!!
That means there is a 93% chance to leave yourself open for MISCOMMUNICATION. With those kinds of odds, you should place more importance on your REAL interactions with women.
And even though you might "score" with your e-chatting in your e-lationships . . . it does NOT mean you will have what it takes to conquer the other 93% of what is required to make a woman feel attraction for you.
Cheers
:)
9. I believe that you already know the answer to your own question!! Of course the first thing a person looks for is looks. Not to be shallow but when there is a strong attraction your much more open to getting to know them better! Looks really can only take you so far but the attraction is necessary for most people.I have high enough standards to feel that I shouldn't have to choose between beauty and brains. A woman's self esteem level also plays a major part in what she's willing to settle for.
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