My boyfriend, when first meeting him, is as manly as one can get. He's an engineer who's hobbies are fixing domestic electric circuits, backpacking, kayaking, surfing, hunting, rock climbing, etc...but he falls apart when I'm around, and demands that I take care of him--make him dinner, massage him, even the occasional pedicure! I am glad to do these, as I love taking care of those I love. That being said, he whines uncontrollably when I'm in need of some pampering or even some leeway! I recently went off birth control on a massive backpacking trip in California, and ended up having a 2nd period in a month. Combining this with an intense amount of hiking and little food, I ended up crying and whining a lot. Now, even after I apologized, my boyfriend refuses to accept it! He refuses to go hiking, kayaking, anything with me, because I 'whine too much'--just because of one trip! He also whines when I critique him over scoping out hazards (he refuses to!) while outdoors! What can I do?
Answers:
1. I'm sorry. Am not rude, but I knew of a guy that constantly complained, and whined, and didn't like women, and always complained about women when he was the ONE with the problem. It is not you, honey.
Get a guy that accepts you, unless you truly love him.
2. Tell him exactly how you feel!!! Don't let him control you any more. You will just resent it later on.
You know, everyone should take care of their own needs first and foremost. Your boyfriend sounds like someone who got whatever he wanted when he was a kid. In other words, he's a SPOILED BRAT KID in an adult body.
I wish you luck with this one.
3. If you feel like you are being asked to do a lot for your boyfriend, and he is not doing as much for you, it might be time to let him go. He is not going to get more giving, tolerant, and nurturing as time goes on. The more you do for him, the more he will expect.
So if you like being whined at like you've got a tired toddler, stick with this guy. If you don't, break up with him.
4. Whining sucks! Next time he does it, let him know! If the whining continues, go on strike! Stop doing whatever it is that you're doing until he stops. And let him know that everytime he whines, you strike. Eventually he'll get the hint.
5. I'm sorry, but it just doesnt sound like this guy is worth still being with. If he cant even support your or comfort you in your time of need, you need to do something about it. You accept him and care for him when he needs it, why cant he return the favor?? Either talk to him about this issue or dump his sorry ***. Good luck!!
6. Are you sure you want an answer to this question? My guess is that you already want to ditch this guy. Don't let someone else make your decisions. Take a step back and look at the big picture.
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