When i had my daughter her father did not want anything to do with her she never knew him nerver saw him she asked about him and we told her the truth. about a year and a half ago for the first time in 13 years i recived a child support check from him about a week later got a leter saying that him and his wife and 2 kids would love to get to know my daughter. I let her make that decsion and she want to get to know him. so he came over from OK to meet her and thay had a good time. so in june i let her go to OK for a month. she said it was ok there. to get to my question she called her dad about a week ago and his #s were changed so i wrote him a letter and he blamed me because i will not let here go live there i know she is both of ours but where was he when she was a baby or sick or any other time please help
Answers:
1. did he change his number because he wants no further contact? did he give you the new one?
all that aside, if he wants contact and your daughter wants contact, the only sensible and right thing to do, is to let them have it. do not let your bitterness (however much it is deserved) keep them apart. you'll be the bad guy in the end, and when she's 18, she can do what she wants anyway. every child needs a dad.
2. I may have missed something but am I right in assuming he changed his phone numbers and didn't keep in touch with her because you said she couldn't come to live with him permanantly? If that's the case, I have to believe you made the right choice. It sounds like he doesn't have the maturity yet to be her father.
It also sounds like you were willing to allow them to stay in contact so she could get to know him and they could be a part of each other's lives. If his response to not getting his way was to cut off contact with your daughter altogether, what would he do if she were living with him when she gets a little older and goes through the typical teenage rebellion years? Would he just throw her back because she doesn't go along with what he wants her to do? Don't stress over this too much. From what you say here, you did the right thing.
3. No, I would not let her go, she probably thinks she'll have more fun or freedom there, and she probably will , because they won't love her the way you love her,finish raising your daughter, then she can decide what she wants to do with her life.
God bless.
4. Correct! I don't understand the point of the phone # change & it bing ur fault- do u mean that he changed his phone # bcause u wouldn't let her go live w/ him? That's purely childish! If he wanted to b in his & ur's daughter's life- he wouldn't go & change phone #'s - that's just pushing or should I say- shutting her out again & making (or trying 2) her feel bad 4 a decision that u r obviously making a sound decision on just based on the # change alone & him throwing a "tempertantrum" over the decission. He sounds immature and irrational & by the sounds og it- u & ur daughter have done just fine w/out him 4 all these years. He is now bringing emotional harm 2 ur daughter which she does not need especially now in her "maturity years" when things like this will influence her 4 the rest of her life. Don't make her feel guilty 4 wanting to c him or associate w/ him- just monitor it conforting and supportingly- but let him know b4 hand what the boundries r- after all she's more ur's than his. Good Luck.
5. Do you want to send your daughter off to live with someone who simply decided to cut contact with you (and her) because he didn't get his way?
It's great that he has shown an interest in getting to know her, but you have been her source of stability for 13 years. Don't let him bully you into jeapordizing that.
| 