my fiance just found out today that his brother died, he lived in Florida, we live in Illinois. Anyway, he was really sad, and I guess he took some pills, he didnt tell me but i suspected it. So when we got to the car I told him I was taking him to the hospital. He said If i took him to the hospital he would run, anyway, he told his sister he was going to go be with his brother, which made me think he took them even more. So then i started crying really bad(we are in the car) and I couldnt drive very well and I was confused and didnt know what to do so i called 9-1-1 and she told me to pull over at the gas station. So I did. i had to hold him down because he wanted to run and i didnt want him to die because i knew he had taken something. Anyway, the lady asked if i wanted her to send an officer to help hold him until the ambulance got there, i said yes, so the cop got there and he FREAKED OUT, he pulled out a knife and had it close to his chest and told me to tell the guy to get the
Answers:
1. 3 hours ago
f$ck away so I told him to just get away and that he had a knife and i was trying to get it away from him and the cop went to the car and got a tazer and tazed him while i was still trying to get it away, I kept telling him they just wanted to help him but he wouldnt listen. I yelled at the cop and told him he was making it worse and to just get back and i finally got the knife away from him and i threw it out the window and the cop tazed him again. that really pissed him off and he jumped out and went at him and i had to keep pulling him back as hard as i could and he finally got back in and i had a BAD BAD BADDDDD panic attack and my fiance was trying to calm me down and mean while, while he is calming me down the damn cop is still tazing him. Bullcrap right????? Anyway later on, while the cops were talking to me she says, HEATHER! ,I AM NOT BEING MEAN TO YOU! I AM NOT YELLING AT YOU! BUT WHY THE HELL DIDNT YOU TELL ME BEFORE YOU CALLED 9-11, I KNOW YOU TRY TO HELP JEREMY AND YOU TRY
2. 3 hours ago
TO CONTROL THE WAY HE GETS THE BEST YOU CAN BUT YOU CANT! HE LISTENS TO ME, HE DOES NOT GET LIKE THAT WITH ME! NEXT TIME SOMETHING LIKE THIS HAPPENS, YOU----CALL----ME----!! and I said I know it is all of my fault i know i messed everything up and now he cant see his brothers funeral and then she starts being nice and gives me a ride and i park my car there, ANYWAY at the hospital she starts getting mad at me, talking behind my back, and then she says IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO MY NEPHEW BECAUSE OF THIS!!!! and I said its not my f-ing fault and she said HA! and started screaming out of the hospital doors. The last time I called the police because i thought he O.D.'d his sister HATED ME, she got SO mad at me. and not this? What the hell did i do wrong?? I feel like it is my fault, I FEEL LIKE I AM GUILTY! everyone keeps pointing their finger at me, telling me this is all my fault and I cant take it anymore! I cant! I am going to go crazy! I am sucidal. and i cant take it anymore, someone p
3. 3 hours ago
someone please tell me why everyone hates me????????? what did i do?????????
4. 3 hours ago
I just dont understand why his aunt is so mad at me? what did i do wrong????????????????
5. it's not your fault, he's having a hard time 'cuz his brother died. it'll take time for him to recover from grief. don't blame yourself all the time when it's not, i hope everything works out between you and your fiance.
he isn't happy now but one day he will recover from grief that his brother died and that the cops tazed him, and he will be grateful that you called the cops. one day he will realize that you cared for him and you loved him that is why you called the cops.
you need to tell his aunt and stuff the truth that you called the cops because you thought he took pills and might overdose and you didn't want him to die 'cuz you love him and you care for him. and you didn't expect the cops to overreact and taze him like that.
his family seems ungrateful for what you did and disrespect you for doing what you thought right and i hope one day it will change. good luck to you and your fiance. remember, it's not your fault.
6. wow.. don't worry everythng will be fine, he is ok and you are ok..
7. It isn't your fault. It is your boyfriend's fault. Tell them to f*ck off and ask them how would they feel if you had just let him die? You were trying to save his life. HE took the f*cking pills! Not you!
8. Its a difficult time for everyone. Everyone deals with grief in different ways, so you might feel like eveyone is blaming you because they need to take it out on someone. Just try to deal with it a bit longer or see a doctor for something.
Best of luck.
9. Just forget about everything and in 20 years all of this is not going to matter.
10. you thought the cops were friendly and would help you
that is what you did wrong.
there not friendly they are not our friends
when a friend passes out - then take them to a hospital
or call for an ambulance-NEVER THE COPS
11. You did the best you could to deal with a stressful situation. You're not responsible for anyone else's bad behavior. You didn't make him take the pills. You didn't make him pull out a knife in front of a police officer.
If he wants to be treated like a normal adult, he should act like one. EVERYONE has to deal with profound grief at some point in their life. Not everyone takes pills, scares the holy hell out of their "loved ones", pulls weapons out in front of police officers, etc.
His aunt was angry because the situation was extremely stressful, and she cares about him. Try not to take it too personally. You both want what's best for him, and sometimes when two people care a lot about someone who is dangerous to themselves, sparks fly. Just remember that you both care about him.
Honestly, if I were in your situation, I would seriously consider whether or not I wanted to be in a relationship with someone. I would put a lot of thought into finding a good therapist. It's ok to take care of yourself. It doesn't make you selfish to realize that you have as much right to be healthy and happy as anyone else. No one else can do it for you.
12. You DIDN'T do anything wrong, you just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. You were just trying to prevent your fiancee from doing something bad to himself... Don't blame yourself, and DON'T commit suicide, you have more to live for then that. Remember, you were afraid of your fiancee doing that, you doing that yourself wouldn't be fair to you or anyone else.
13. Why are you with this guy?. He's a mess and so are you. I suggest, you find a therapist and get help for yourself. YOU.
Nothing so far is your fault. If any one is at fault its her for not encouraging him to get help already.He's got problems which have now been worsened by what happen with his brother. So do yourself a favor and remove yourself from the situation if he refuses to go get help along with you.
Makes no sense you send yourself to an early grave and miss out on all the good things that could happen as soon as tomorow.
14. i think when you suspected that your fiancee took some pills you should have first talked to him in a way that he feels that you are there for him and he needs to go the hospital so that they can treat him for your sake and you could tell him that "SEE WHAT YOU ARE FEELING NOW WHEN YOUR BROTHER DIED I WILL FEEL THE SAME WAY IF SOMETHING BAD HAPPENS TO YOU" you should have been quite and calm you could take him for a ride in a car to a quite place and start hugging or something and let him know that its not over and if he needs something you will be the one there for him, I know that you were scared and panicked that something would happen to him but panicking and crying is not the way to calm someone who is already sad and panicked himself. And now you should try to talk to him and explain what happened and why you did this thing but dont think it's your fault because its not maybe you acted according to the situation.
15. You did what you felt was right and perhaps saved his life. Some families do go to the extreme with anger in stressful situations, and do not think. They also sound very disfunctional as well, yelling out the hospital window like that.
You did the right thing. Also the cop had to do that because your boyfriend had a weapon, and was endangering everone.
I know this is a very horrible thing that happened to your boyfriend, is this the first time he has acted anyway like this before his brothers death? Really think hard about this because if you marry him you are really really deep in then, family and all.
Perhaps talk to someone about this and get some support. It doesn't mean right now end anything but be careful for yourself and really do some deep self searching.
16. Whats really going on. Your story made me dizzy, cause so much all at the same time I would be depressed too. All this madness, You know it is easier to put slippers on your own feet, than to put carpet on the whole world. Stop trying to control everything and just control yourself. Learn the serenity prayer and hold on to it. "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change , the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference". Don't blame yourself for others actions and make sure your actions are chosen wisely. But most of all learn to love yourself. and know how special you are. BE WELL!!!!
17. its not your fault. you only did what is right.
a death in a family is quite an emotional roller coaster. this is sometimes aggravated by how a member reacts. when my mom died my sister blamed me for her death; even telling it in front of my other siblings. she was so mad at me because i studied on the night my mom was critically confined. she died the day after. although i was there in the morning before she died, it was the fact that i wasn't present that night that was emphasized.
let them lick their wounds. soon they will settle down and realize that it was just really tough on them thus the reaction. i hope you wouldn't take it against them too.
just remember you were the one who was still in the right frame of mind; no emotional strain or something. so stop blaming yourself.
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