My boyfiend and I are both 17 (turning 18 soon) and have been going out for 4 months (he is my first boyfriend and I am his). We both love each other so much and have a great friendship as well as a romantic relationship. He is a deeply caring, sensitive guy, who I trust fully. We are physically intimate, and have had oral sex, but not intercourse. We are both virgins, and feel that we are now comfortable and ready to have sex. He has never pressured me in any way to go further. I have prepared by going on birth control well in advance (I told him this, and he said he would buy condoms for when we were both ready). So I am not worried about the physical aspect of having sex (ie: becoming pregant or std's), and I feel I am emotionally ready as well, but I guess I'm gong to sound like a bit of a hypocrite now, because I said I fully trust him (and I do), but I am still slightly nervous he won't be as interested in me after we have had sex. I think it's mainly stories I've heard (mostly through media)that have made me worried, as I don't feel I really should be worrying with the boyfriend I have. How do I talk to him about this without making him think I believe him to be untrusworthy or simply 'out to get sex' (which he is not, because we have a wonderful relationship). Should I be worried about him getting sick of me and leavng me after sex?
Answers:
1. 4 hours ago
don't say 'wait till marriage' - i have decided not to, that's not what i'm asking for in anwser tom my question
2. Sex does change a relationship, but it depends on your partner if it will be a good change or a bad change.
3. all sex should be in a marriage
4. Honestly, I was worried about this too when I started having sex. But if your guy truly loves you and you fully trust him, you have no need to worry about him leaving you. You both sound like you're truly committed, so I don't think there's anything for you to worry about. If it would make you feel better, perhaps talk to your boyfriend about your concern over "things changing" after you have sex. Phrasing it that way can open it up to concerns that perhaps he has too, and you two will be able to get a better understanding of the other's feelings. Good luck!
5. Its really up the person. Since both of you are first times I doubt he will leave you after.
6. Well from what you have said it doesn't seem like he would leave you after sex. But you really shoudn't have sex until you are FULLY ready, even the slightest doubt is a sign you arn't ready. Talk to him, you should explain what you just said. Tell him that you trust him but that you are worried about him leaving you after sex. If he's a good guy like you say then he should comfort you and understand you. Good luck =]
7. sorry only you can truly answer this question you know him we don't go with your gut feeling what kind of morals and standards does he have...from my own experience i thought everything was going great with my boyfriend at 18 we started having sex and we planned on getting married and everything and then he left for college and that was the end of that his choice not mine...so just be smart with your choice...one never really knows if it will last a lifetime all we can do is hope and pray that it will...i have been with my spouse for almost ten years when you find the right one hold on to him and don't ever let him go! Good luck with your man!
8. I think you have a very mature approach to this, good on you for being prepared and waiting till you were ready. If you're worried about the relationship changing after sex, talk to him about your concerns. Sex should be a bonus to a loving and respectful relationship. If he hasn't pressured you do do anything and you've been together for 4 months, chances are he's just not after 1 thing! Good luck!
9. No, if you two have a good relationship then you should worry about nothing, but as someone who lost their virginity at 14 years old, all I suggest is both of you wait until you are both ready. and you will know. You don't have to talk about sex. It just happens. If one is not ready then the other one should not push for it to happen. Remember once you lose your innocence you can never get it back. So make sure it is what you want. Please be careful though!
10. don't let him see that you're worried about it. you shouldn't worry too much about it either. seeing that it'll be the first time for both of you, there shouldn't be anything to worry about. neither of you will know better so there's no one for him to compare you to. good luck.
11. It sounds like you have both thought this through and discussed it.
It sounds like you have a great and stable and loving and trusting relationship with him.
If you are ready...go ahead. Only you know when you are ready anyway.
Plus, I doubt you have anything to worry about--your relationship sounds wonderful.
12. Well with this situation I don't really see him going to leave you if you don't have sex or after because he seems to be a very respectful person. Also at the same time you guys have only been going out for four months so you really don't know him as much as you think you do. So becareful, I'm not saying he is a bad guy I'm just saying becareful because if your ready go ahead and go for it because it seems like you guys are taking all the steps to have safe sex. But if it was me and I was in your situation I would what but thats just me. Well good luck and I hope everything goes well.
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