I've been with my boyfriend for 4 months. We're both in our mid 20s, I love being intimate with him...he doesn't feel sex plays a very crucial role in a relationship. We have sex about 2-3 times a month...I'd prefer 2-3 times a week...or more! He blames it on stress, but we are both medical students...HELLO...our lives are going to be very stressful for years to come! What do I do? I love him very much and he is a great guy. I've tried talking to him and he agreed we should have sex more often...but he still turns me down EVERY time! Now he just thinks I'm some sex crazed girl that can't think about anything other than that...which is NOT true at all...but c'mon...a girls got needs. I've NEVER had this problem before. Any suggestions? I'm starting to feel like there is something wrong with me...like maybe he doesn't find me sexually attractive.
Answers:
1. Tell him that he can't blame everything on stress, and if he thinks his life is so stressful, then he needs to think about another profession.
2. Challenge his manhood.
3. I'm sorry to tell you but hes at his sexual peak now, its only going down hill from now. Arent you both med students? He should be aware of sexual disfunctions maybe you should be too. You should let him know hes being selfish, that relationships are give and take, if he doesnt want to have sex, then dump him. Do you want to throw away months, maybe years of your life waiting for someone to change? If they have no desire to change--they wont. Do yourself a favour and leave him if he doesn't want to change.
4. Wow!
Most girls have exactly the opposite problem: their man wants too much sex.
You know what I think? He's gay!
5. I'm sorry to say, but something's wrong with your man. most guys are completely opposite of that and girls have problems keeping their boyfriends from wanting sex. sex is supposed to take people away from their problems and relieve them. if he can't see that he's got issues. the fact that he's stressed should make him want something like sex more. there's nothing wrong with you, your behavior is natural.
6. Are you sure there is no one else?
7. Stress isn't really a reason for a low sex drive in a guy. I've been under all that pressure and still had no problems in that arena.
The problem is hormonal, he might just have a low sex drive... some guys do. Maybe he isn't getting enough sleep or sunlight, or isn't eating well. Either of those can cause hormone problems. It could also be a cultural or psychological problem. If he's clinically depressed it will hurt his sex drive, so watch out for that.
Unfortunately if he doesn't change, your relationship is only going to get worse. Biology demands what it demands, and there are a lot of men out there that would not have this problem. Good sex can be a huge stress reliever, so "stress" is hardly a good excuse.
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