I've always hated being the center of attention in a large crowd, and yes I know this is the one day where I will be....but I'm scared to walk down the aisle and have all eyes on me through the duration of the ceremony. How do brides keep their cool?? I'm not nervous about the marriage so please no posts about how "if I'm not sure then don't do it".....I'm talking strictly about anxiety of standing up there. What if I have to throw up in the middle of the vows?!?!
Answers:
1. Talk to your doctor. I think they make pills to help anxiety attacks.
2. If you have a real fear of public speaking/public attention, then you may want to talk to your doctor. You could get a small supply of Ativan or Xanax or something, but just to warn you that it may make you feel a little out of it or drowsy and you shouldn't mix it with alcohol. So a very small dose would be best and make sure not to have a drink for at least a few hours after you've taken the medications.
Otherways of dealing with anxiety without drugs are deep breathing exercises. Perhaps before the ceremony take some time to meditate or practice deep breathing. Also, visualizing helps too. Imagine yourself at the ceremony with all eyes on you, calm your breathing and imagine yourself handling the situation without fear. Do this a few times before the ceremony and then when it comes, you'll be prepared. You can also imagine something going wrong and then cooly handling as well. An session or two with a therapist before your 'big day' may help you relax as well. You can learn some techniques that will help you get through this.
3. Just relax and enjoy yourself!
Don't worry about anyone else, people will be looking at you and thinking "Wow she is so beautiful!" There won't be a negative thought in the room, so relax this is your day enjoy it.
Focus on your partner and just look at him and smile, today you are marring the man you love.
Imagine its just the two of you and today you declare your love for each other.
Everything will be OK and it will be the happiest day of your life!
Relax, breathe deeply and look at your future husband.
4. Keep your eyes on the prize! (the man you are marrying) Make him the only one in the room that matters to you. I,m sure he will be looking at you with Love. So do the same to him and you will be just fine.
5. Three words that got my friend through it:
Focus On Him
When she was walking down the isle, she focused on her father, when she was at the alter, she focused on her husband. It also calmed her to know that it was all family and friends around but she just focused on her husband and the person marrying them. She said she didn't feel anxiety at all, and this is the same girl that had an anxiety attack when she couldn't figure out what to order at a resturaunt.
6. Start by eating breakfast. Nothing to heavy of course but something that will keep your energy going. When walking down the aisle, just remember to smile and look straight ahead at the priest (or officiant,pastor,..). Once at the alter focus on nothing else but your husband and your love for one another. Don't think about anything else. It will be over all to soon. Take a breath and it will okay.
7. I hear the best way to calm your nerves in front of a bunch of people is to imagine yourself naked, in your case, on the altar. You can keep the high heels and veil on.
If that doesn't work, let me do the imagining.
8. My future brother in law's doctor prescribed something. He was calm and didn't feel altered at all. Sorry I don't know the name of it but I'm sure your doctor would.
I feel your pain. I'm pretty freaked out at the thought of all that attention on me.
You'll be fine just look in to your new husband's eyes and hopefully everyone else will fade away.
Good Luck!
You'll do great!
9. I felt the same way before my first wedding. When everyone stood up when I walked in with my dad, I sucked air! lol The way I got through it was focusing on my husband-to-be. I looked at him the entire time up the aisle.
Once you're up there and the pastor starts talking, you won't even realize there is anyone else there but your husband-to-be, the wedding party at your side, and the pastor. Concentrate on your pastor and the words he's speaking, and your husband-to-be and the vows the two of you are taking.
I guarantee you will be totally relaxed by the time you turn around and are pronounced husband and wife by the pastor.
Know you're not alone feeling this way. Eat light so your stomach won't be upset, and trust me, you'll be fine. Concentrate on your husband-to-be, that's my best advice.
Congrats on your upcoming nuptials.
10. Another great question! And yes you are not alone! I tell my couples that the ceremony is the easiest part of the whole wedding, not the first dance, or what to have for finger food.
Here are a couple of hints that may help:
Get a copy of your ceremony script, my couples always approve of what I will be saying. Get to know it well, if there are no surprise you can be a bit more relaxed.
Make sure you eat! Have a light meal before your wedding. Watch out for foods that you know will make you feel badly. Comfort foods, like mom's mac and cheese, a turkey sandwich. Fruit and salad are good choices also.
No drinking alachol. You can relax with a small glass of wine, if you are accustomed to drinking. You are better off with a glass of soda, water, Gatorade that a beer or wine.
Before you head to the doctor's for a Rx, get to the local health food store. There are many different natural ways to calm your nerves. Let the folks there know what you need and take their advice. But do this NOW. That way you will know what will work, and how you react to it.
If after all this, and you still get nervous, focus on your beloved, look into his eyes, forget that there is anyone else there, all that matters is both of you and your minister.
Best wishes, Chaplain Debby I am also a RN :o)
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