My ex and I are in our mid 20s. We dated for about a year & I broke up with him mainly because I felt like we should have been friends longer. He's a good guy, just really timid and macho; and I'm a little shy; making it hard for us to communicate sometimes. It's been a couple months since our break up and he has began initiating phone calls and dates again but avoiding any "relationship" talk. Should we just be friends and be done with it? I do love him, and he shows me he cares, but doesn't say anything. I don't know if we can work because when I do/did try to talk to him, he listens, but doesn't really respond, ...so now, I'm like whatever...if he's ready to be with me, he'll say something. ---Could this be a "guy thing" meaning he might actually be trying, maybe scared? Or a sign that he just ain't for me?
Answers:
1. sounds like my husband.
2. yes move on.
3. Sounds like me and my ex. You could try being friends. my ex is the same way, he is calling a nd talking and we go out ocassionally but i've made up my mind not to do the relationship thing again because his behaviour will not chamge. Its different when you are not deeply invested (friends). If you tried to do the relationship you would still expect the same things but as friends you don't expect so much.
4. Couples counseling might help if you both want it to work.
5. From what you describe, I'd say he's scared/shy. Maybe just sit him down and tell him what you've said here and let him know you care for him, but you need to be able to talk with him for the relationship to go anywhere. It's a shame that a relationship ends because you can't talk!
6. I say move on as well.
7. what the hel*l kind of reason was that for breaking up with him? he wants to be with you but is scared you're going to break up with him for some bullshi*t reason again and isn't really sure if he should really go for it again or not....this one is all on you....if you really want to get back with him you're going to have to convince him he's the one you want and that you aren't going to go running away again for some stupid reason like "we should have been friends longer"....if you had done that to me i wouldn't give you a second thought.....
8. i think he wants to take things slower with you this time from friendship to relationship because he doesnt want that whole break up thing to happen again.in my opinion i think he's willing to give it another try & if you really like him then you should wait it out & see how things go.
9. If you are having differences now it will get worse later so you should MOVE ON!
10. If it ain't happenin yet, it ain't gonna happen. Age only makes a relationship more comfortable, when it's new it's the best, and if you're not that thrilled where you're at right now, I guarantee it won't get any better.
11. Hello.
Sometimes your heart is screaming so loud you can't hear what your head is saying.
You love him, but you don't share communication styles. He may be comfortable with you, that is, he knows what you will say and do, and there is less stress and effort than going out with someone new. However, if he's not trying hard now, well, then I think you know the answer.
Sometimes you just need to hear it from a kind stranger. It's time to move on, and find someone who appreciates all the great things you bring to a relationship. There is nothing wrong with mourning the loss of this relationship, just help yourself out, and elevate self esteem to be ready for Mr. Right when he comes a-knockin. All the best to you.
12. It doesn't sound like you really want to spend the rest of your life with him and being friends with a lover is never good. Move on and set him free to find someone who really loves everything about him.
13. GURL..BEEN THERE..DONE THAT..SHOULD WRITE A BOOK ABOUT IT..LOL..LEAVE HIM ALONE GURL..FOLLOW MY ADVICE YOU ARE WASTING YOUR TIME. I HAVE BEEN IN THE SAME RELATIONSHIP AND NOTHING GOOD CAME OF IT BUT WASTED TIME. IF HE REALLY LOVED YOU LIKE YOU LOVE HIM..HE WOULD TALK ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP..BUT IT SOUNDS LIKE HE JUST WANTS TO FOOL AROUND..HES NOT SERIOUS..THERE IS A GUY WAITING OUT FOR YOU SOMEWERE THAT WILL LOVE YOU UNCONDITIONALLY..I KNOW IT SOUNDS LIKE BS..BUT IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME GURLIE..JUST GO ON BEING YOU~
14. Make a base relationship talk! He talks you talk back tell him the boundery's for you and he needs to do the same! Start all over began on bottom and work toward your goal. Good Luck!
15. Guys aren't that deep and complicated. They don't play games, for the most part. If he's calling you and dating you, he wants you back. He's just being polite about it because you said you wanted to be friends first, so I guess he's taking it slow, letting you be comfortable. I mean, you said you wanted to be friends, right? So now he's giving you that chance.
If I love some guy, but I'm not "in love" with him, because he doesn't do it for me, I don't say something else, like 'we should have been friends longer.' Because guys always take that to mean 'there's someone else,' like 100% of the time. So now I say things like 'I really care for you. I wish you were less timid, more open, more decisive.'
16. Seek couples counseling. You can also receive counseling from your pastor/priest if they are available, and if not, they may be able to recommend someone.
Good luck!
17. sounds like my husband.
18. yes move on.
19. Sounds like me and my ex. You could try being friends. my ex is the same way, he is calling a nd talking and we go out ocassionally but i've made up my mind not to do the relationship thing again because his behaviour will not chamge. Its different when you are not deeply invested (friends). If you tried to do the relationship you would still expect the same things but as friends you don't expect so much.
20. Couples counseling might help if you both want it to work.
21. From what you describe, I'd say he's scared/shy. Maybe just sit him down and tell him what you've said here and let him know you care for him, but you need to be able to talk with him for the relationship to go anywhere. It's a shame that a relationship ends because you can't talk!
22. I say move on as well.
23. what the hel*l kind of reason was that for breaking up with him? he wants to be with you but is scared you're going to break up with him for some bullshi*t reason again and isn't really sure if he should really go for it again or not....this one is all on you....if you really want to get back with him you're going to have to convince him he's the one you want and that you aren't going to go running away again for some stupid reason like "we should have been friends longer"....if you had done that to me i wouldn't give you a second thought.....
24. i think he wants to take things slower with you this time from friendship to relationship because he doesnt want that whole break up thing to happen again.in my opinion i think he's willing to give it another try & if you really like him then you should wait it out & see how things go.
25. If you are having differences now it will get worse later so you should MOVE ON!
26. If it ain't happenin yet, it ain't gonna happen. Age only makes a relationship more comfortable, when it's new it's the best, and if you're not that thrilled where you're at right now, I guarantee it won't get any better.
27. Hello.
Sometimes your heart is screaming so loud you can't hear what your head is saying.
You love him, but you don't share communication styles. He may be comfortable with you, that is, he knows what you will say and do, and there is less stress and effort than going out with someone new. However, if he's not trying hard now, well, then I think you know the answer.
Sometimes you just need to hear it from a kind stranger. It's time to move on, and find someone who appreciates all the great things you bring to a relationship. There is nothing wrong with mourning the loss of this relationship, just help yourself out, and elevate self esteem to be ready for Mr. Right when he comes a-knockin. All the best to you.
28. It doesn't sound like you really want to spend the rest of your life with him and being friends with a lover is never good. Move on and set him free to find someone who really loves everything about him.
29. GURL..BEEN THERE..DONE THAT..SHOULD WRITE A BOOK ABOUT IT..LOL..LEAVE HIM ALONE GURL..FOLLOW MY ADVICE YOU ARE WASTING YOUR TIME. I HAVE BEEN IN THE SAME RELATIONSHIP AND NOTHING GOOD CAME OF IT BUT WASTED TIME. IF HE REALLY LOVED YOU LIKE YOU LOVE HIM..HE WOULD TALK ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP..BUT IT SOUNDS LIKE HE JUST WANTS TO FOOL AROUND..HES NOT SERIOUS..THERE IS A GUY WAITING OUT FOR YOU SOMEWERE THAT WILL LOVE YOU UNCONDITIONALLY..I KNOW IT SOUNDS LIKE BS..BUT IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME GURLIE..JUST GO ON BEING YOU~
30. Make a base relationship talk! He talks you talk back tell him the boundery's for you and he needs to do the same! Start all over began on bottom and work toward your goal. Good Luck!
31. Guys aren't that deep and complicated. They don't play games, for the most part. If he's calling you and dating you, he wants you back. He's just being polite about it because you said you wanted to be friends first, so I guess he's taking it slow, letting you be comfortable. I mean, you said you wanted to be friends, right? So now he's giving you that chance.
If I love some guy, but I'm not "in love" with him, because he doesn't do it for me, I don't say something else, like 'we should have been friends longer.' Because guys always take that to mean 'there's someone else,' like 100% of the time. So now I say things like 'I really care for you. I wish you were less timid, more open, more decisive.'
32. Seek couples counseling. You can also receive counseling from your pastor/priest if they are available, and if not, they may be able to recommend someone.
Good luck!
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