My wife and I have separated about a month ago, and lately its been really hard not to get upset. I get upset about something stupid and then regret it. She recently just started going to counseling on her own which I feel is great. I want the healing process to start, I just don't understand why I get angry, Not that I throw a fit or anything it just inside of me, I get mad about her leaving, our past, the kids, any advice?
Answers:
1. My advice.....you should also go to counseling....not with her, go on your own.
2. I would go to counseling too if i were you or have a beer with some friends and talk to them. I'm not encouraging you to get drunk that would be a bad process but to let your anger out. You can't help but be angry you more have to deal with it healthy is all.
3. You need to allow yourself time to heal. The end of a relationship can be a very traumatic thing, and you aren't going to feel 100% right away.
That being said. You can use this time to plan your life. This is such an opportunity to reinvent yourself on so many levels. Take some classes, do something you ordinarily wouldn't see yourself doing. This will introduce you to new people, and help up be more upbeat. When all else fails, go do something you love, like see a football game or go dancing.
4. If it's truly over, I say it's time to look to the future and high hopes.
5. I think you need counseling also. It helps me to say the serenity prayer to myself when things get stressful. Here it is......Grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, the strength to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.
6. All of a sudden your world is torn apart, your wife's leaving, your kids not being with you and your past is history. Who wouldn't be mad about that. It is like a death in the family, you can't know that person the way you use to, because she is gone, taken the kids with her. Hope you are getting some kind of counceling yourself, this may be harder than you think.
You can be in a room full of friends and family, but yet you are all alone, she is not there with you, and yet you sure don't want anyone's pity. Seek out a group therapy session for yourself and find out what others are doing and listen to their stories, sometimes, what the others say can shed some light on your situation and help you cope with the feelings you are having at this point. you have to work through this it is not going away. Best wishes
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