OKay here's this situation My best friend in the world is pregnant and even though her due date is this Thursday, the doctors are looking at enducing labor on tuesday (her body isnt ready to have her son yet, I think its her cervics that is still closed so thats why they are waiting for tuesday) I am exstatic for her, even though she is only 16, as am I. ( I really dont need any comment on her age, or anything, we have gone over the fact that her being 16 sux for being preg....) But her 18 yr old bf is a real ********. they arent married or anything and she is "honoring" her bf family for both her sons' first name, middle name, and last name...her mom suggested that she use a hyphen for the last name and gicve her abby both her's and her bf's last name (so everyone can be happy). Everyone thinks its a good idea...but her bf is SCREAMING at her about it right now...she is really upset like balling her eyes out, and complete and total reck. No one likes her bf, nobody, not even his
Answers:
1. 6 hours ago
pot smoking, alcoholic family members...they all dont give a damn about her, or her baby...the whole situatio stinks..trust me.if u could get her out of there, i would but she now lives over an hour away,a nd i cant afford to get to her now...I am so pissed and i want to murder her bf for being an ***...he even told her that his son better not be born on his b'da bc it would ruin his birthday (what and ***) and he says that he isnt changing diapers or anything to help..he also put a hole in the condom to get her preg in the 1st place...we all kow it but she doenst listen to us. :-( I have no idea what to do, bc she has also been admitted to the hospital for fetal distress, and some other things...he bf is a selfish bas****...i need to calm down, but its hard when i hate this guy so much, and i cant do a dang thing to help her......
2. Well that's a sad situation,maybe you should yell at the bf and bring him to church.....
3. If they are not married she needs to give the baby her name only because it solves legal problems down the line.
4. I think that she shouldnt if she is feeling pressured to do so when she dont want to. If thats what she desires, then there is nothing her family can do about it. Its her baby.
Make sure your friend gets the support she needs, by someone she trust.
5. It's not that you're too young to be having sex, it's that you two sound too stupid to be having sex. The poor baby is going to have an idiot for a mother. Who gives a hoot what she names the kid? Social services will be taking it away pretty soon anyway.
6. Give the baby both last names that way in the future when he is gone the baby will have the same name as his mother.
7. she really needs to get a man. that boy is so insecure; i could almost imagine him beating her later. it's not just his baby she's going to do most of the work. instead of being supportive, he is so immature that i feel for her. she needs to get rid of him. if he's that bad to her now how will he treat her after the baby? I am sorry for her, i really am
8. she needs to look ahead is this bf in the future going to be raising his child or involved at all. most likely not at the age they are. If they do not have a good relationship she should give it her last name. Be independant girl
9. Frankly, I would get her to talk to a lawyer. You probably don't want to hear this, but it's important. If the father of the child is this abusive (verbal abuse is still abuse) about such an essentially minor matter as the baby's name at this time, when she's the most vulnerable, how will he treat her later? More importantly, how will he treat the baby? There are too many stories on the news now about battered and murdered infants, don't let this happen again. Speak with a lawyer about limiting or eliminating his rights to the child. She will have a more difficult struggle without his financial help, but the child and she will be better off.
10. Wow that must suck
Sorry I'm not a mom
But first of all, is he willing to help raise the baby and support the baby?
Cuz if he's an *** and is not going to be there for the kid, what's the point of giving the baby his name?
Yea it's a good idea about the last names and the hyphen but I dunno about the first and middle names
11. She can put any name she wants on the birth certificate since they are not married. In fact, in many states, if he does not show up at the hospital with ID on the day they bring her the papers, he will not be allowed to have his name as the surname. So, if they want his name, he better be prepared to prove who he is.
Everyone needs to just back off and let her and the bf name the child how they want.
12. First, I am surprised no one has taken the bf to court for statutory rape.
Second, she is under no compunction whatsoever to name the child with any association with "daddy".
Third, she should just split, as things will not get better with him around
13. I believe that the doctor will do what is in her best interest. I am a mother of 2 children and my third due Dec. 4. I too have been induced. I wish her the best of luck in her situation and I think that her boyfriend will either come around or deal with what ever decision she makes. Giving the baby both last names is not that big of a deal. Even though I am married to the father of all of my children I think that as long as she is giving the baby his last name he should be happy. He should be blessed anyways that he is soon going to have a great bundle of joy that will stop all of his hostility.
14. if he is screaming at her, as she is almost ready to deliver his baby, i would not "honor" him at all. he is a child, immature, doesnt deserve to be honored. will he honor her, and his baby financially, and in general with respect and support?
to cool you off...hmmmm.....
be glad you are not her, be there to help her, with the baby, with being happy, with learning about caring for the new little angel she is bringing into this world, to support her, she will be feelin overwhelmed, i did, and i was 31.
she will need someone to lean on, thank god her mom is around..
good luck with this one..
always remember, baby comes first now..the baby is helpless and needs love
15. Well, I'd say that she should keep the baby with her last name, not the BF... and don't hyphen it.
I'm certain that you and I can both agree, that the likelyhood that these two will be together much past the babies birth is remote at best. So there is really no reason to burden the child with that. And that is the main thing we have to consider here.
With regard to the timing of the birth, you have to trust the doctors here, they aren't going to do anything they feel with harm the mother or the baby.
16. having a baby @ any age is stressful. sure she wants to please everyone. but she needs to put her foot down and tell them to concentrate on having a healthy baby and then we will either compromise or she will choose a name that exclude everyone. whether anyone likes this guy he is still the babies father. having a baby changes people and maybe this could be a redeeming time in his life. just be a real friend and stay open minded.
17. He sounds really selfish and as hard as it is... you'll have to stand up and do what you want or he will continue to do this and ruin both of their lives. That's the way it seems to me anyway.
18. Definitely she should give the baby her last name!! This doesn't sound like a healthy relationship, and probably won't work out so the baby should have her name. Tell her not to let the father bully her. He sounds like a real ***. She's very lucky to have a good friend who cares for her- Good Luck!
19. First of all, as a mom, THEY decided to have sex...OK Now that we have that out of the way. Obviously they didn't intend this to happen. At 16, she doesn't need EVERYBODYS opinion. She NEEDS her family. NO MATTER HOW BAD IT MAY SEEM OR BE! Who cares about everybody else. He doesn't care. She does. She, EVEN NOT YOU, needs to decide what her future involves. Family does very weird things in stuff like this. Friends come and go. She needs to CONSIDER what her folks have to say. And get major counseling alone from planned parent hood or other places like that.
20. This is typical of a sixteen year old who is far from being ready to be a mother. Of course they aren't married and he probably will not step up to the plate and take responsibility after the baby is born so I doubt if anyone's going to be that happy about the whole situation. Does he have his education? A good job? Savings? Where are she and the baby going to live? Who's going to pay the bills? How's she going to manage a baby and school? Does she have a job? What kind of health insurance does she have for herself and the baby? How mature of him to be screaming at her at a time like this. What do you have to be ecstatic about for her? She's in a real mess! I think you DO need some comments on her age, and her sexual activity. She's shown you a lot of reasons to get an education first; grow up; wait until you're old enough and wise enough to be ready to be a parent. This baby has too many strikes against it before it's even born and it's the one who will pay the consequences of kids playing house. And everyone's shook up over what name the baby will be given. Ridiculous!
21. No-one needs to be screaming at her about anything right now! Especially the baby's father. If he doesn't want the baby's name hyphenated, he should have married her before she got pregnant. She is the one carrying the baby. She should make the choice. Even if she chose to only give it her name, it is her choice. I wish her all the best. I pray that she has a big healthy baby. It is going to be very hard at times but she is going to be a mama and many others have gone through having a child ( and raising it themselves) at a younger age and done fine. I'm sure she will too. Give her a hug for me and tell her congratulations. She will be fine.
22. Hi - I am a mom, and here's my oppinion.
1. Unless they are married, the baby's mother doesn't even have give the baby's his father's last name. Being a father is more than just putting a name on a birth certificate. A good father, a real man, provides an income for his baby so that he/she has food, clothing, a crib, car seat, money for doctor's bills... and it goes on and on for 18 years +.
I hope that your girlfriend has a supportive family (and that the baby's father's family is supportive), because it doesn't sound like he's very mature. Sounds like he got a lot of growing up to do - and when you have a baby, you have to take the emphasis of of what YOU want and put it all on the baby.
23. The naming of the baby is not the most important issue. What is important, is that she is in the right frame of mind to give birth to the baby. Hopefully, she has some form of religion or spiritual practice that she can use to calm herself. Unless a baby is given a name that will hurt him in life, almost any name should be fine. What counts more is that the baby is loved and has good people taking care of him.
24. Leave her alone. The more you interfere the worst she will feel. This is not the right time to pressure her and to put her in a corner. If she decided to name the baby like that, it is her decision. You don't have to like it but you have to support her and be there when the sob fails her completely. You can advise her but the more opposition she gets the, the blinder she will be. When I did not like any of the girlfriends of my son, the nicer I would be to them. I would make a little comment about her being a little selfish, or rude but just in passing so he could think about it without my bugging him. Just tell her that you will accept her decision and will be there for her always. Her boyfriend is a jerk and seems violent. Watch him closely . Talk to her but without confrontation. Just tell her how much you all care for her and want to protect her. And that she can trust you no matter what.
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