If you ever found out your father sexually abused someone you were close to (cousin, sister, etc.) when they were a child or teenager, would you forgive them? Would you still love them if it seems they changed 20 years from that time, (especially after the secret was hidden for so long)?
Saw a lifetime type movie on LMN with that kind of plot with Joanna Kerns from Growing Pains, and thought I'd seek others opinions.
Answers:
1. 54 minutes ago
And the victim who you know has forgiven them as well as that is why they kept the secret from you and everyone else.
2. it is a hard desicion u should forgive him only if he has changed completely and if the others have forgiven him too so ....if he didnt change then the answer is ofc not u should just dont talk to him or do nothing with him cause he is of no trust...
3. I dont think you could trust him.
4. forgive, lest ye be forgiven. judge not, lest ye be judged.
5. You said if it seems they changed. The fact is you can never know because it is hidden most of the time. Forgive or not I would never trust him to be alone with any child ever.
6. I think I've seen this movie - something to do with Liar in the title - I cried & cried as it was so close to home for me.
I could never forgive someone who sexually abused anyone whether they were related to me or not. To have perpetuated the crime by keeping the secret for so long is more of a reason for me never to have contact with them again.
7. Wow tough question.
I think the relationship with your father would be strained from this.
If this is your sister, then talk to her about it , get the facts and then if you can, talk to your dad.
If this was a cousin, then talk to her, get the facts and then talk to your mom.
The reason is I think a sister would tell the truth but the cousin could fib a bit.
Any anger you keep bottled up inside you, will burst someday, best to let it go now and get it all out in the open..
8. maybe i would forgive him but i would lose alot of respect for him and trust
9. I understand the question perfectly well..it has happened to me in real life...a step sister...and the guilty father spent time in jail..i missed him and i felt a lil guilty about it....but i still loved him..as i seen my sister recover and gradually work through the pain i asked her how she feels about him now,,and because she recently gave her life to god..she says she has the strength to forgive him...and i had to think also..i felt some what responsible cause it was my father who made the suffering come about....i had to forgive myself for feeling guilty and for loving my father still...we are not responsible for our parents actions and it is ok to still love them, but hate what they have done...the pain and heart ache they caused we can see as horrid and not condone what has happened..but still love the person... if your father is truly repentant and sorry for his actions and have tryed to make amends or seek help..he will need your love support and devotion still...let him no you love him and u are there for him..even if it is 20 yrs ago..sometimes ppl carrie pain and regret for much longer....and if u need to have some closer talk to him about it..but if u ask be ready for the answers....good luck and god bless
10. No forgiveness. Should be punished for ever.
11. i dont think keeping a secret is good..if someone is sexually abuse by anyone this is punishable by law tell your family about this clearly and so they can understand about it....
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