My friend's mom is having a discipline problem with her youngest son. Just recently, he started dating a girl at school who has turned him into an anerexic twig and changed his attitude for the worst. He has lost a lot of weight and we fear he is getting sickly. He has started to lie more and more, saying he is on the V football team, or if something goes missing, he never knows what happened. Just recently, he has started stealing. It started with his brother's Mp3 player, messing with mine, and has escalated into stealing a girl's skateboard down the lane.
The mother still blames it on the oldest son, saying, "He started it all those years ago by bullying him..." but those years are long past gone. He openly defies her by hiding his cell phone and iPod when she tries to take them from him, and may even be taking nude pictures of himself to send to her. He's 14, and she's 16/17.
Does anyone have any ideas on what I could suggest to the mother? She really needs help with this...
Answers:
1. 5 hours ago
Also, his father has a drinking problem, and is suspected of stealing money/things to trade for beer. At one point, money went missing from his mom's car, she accused the father of it, but the major clue that may lead to him was that blood was found inside the car and on the door. The father had no open wounds, and she didn't even think to check the son. ((anytime anything goes missing, she accuses the father of it, without checking the son. Only about half he confesses to doing.))
2. She needs to find some major intervention with a good counselor. Losing weight and stealing are also signs of drug use as opposed to anorexia. Help her to find someone to talk to so she can help her son!
3. This won't be what you want to hear, but the best thing you can do is to say absolutely nothing. Unfortunately, you can't really have an impact on this complex situation. These problems didn't just begin; they are probably rooted in years of dysfunctional behavior in the family. You can be sympathetic and say that you're sorry that she's having so much trouble, and that you understand that it must be stressing her out terribly. But don't suggest anything. Chances are she will not take your advice and if she does and it doesn't work, she may resent you.
4. well the best thing to do is to take all the items he thinks are important to him and to make him work for then back with good behavior. Not to give in to what he saids and to be strong. to let the son know what are the problems and try to both solving but this will require a long talk from mother to son but to try to tried him like an adult not like a little kid.
5. It sounds like he is doing drugs. You know with the whole weight loss, stealing thing. She need to have him put in rehab which she can do because he is a minor. If he gets clean his attitude will change a lot.
6. TOUGH LOVE. THE LOSEING WEIGHT SOUNDED LIKE A ANOREXIA/BULEMIA THING AT FIRST UNTIL YOU MENTIONED, MISSING PERSONAL THINGS. THEN MY GUESS WOULD BE DRUG RELATED. METH & CRANK ARE GOOD ONES FOR HELPING TO LOSE WEIGHT DRASTICLLY, INCENTIVE FOR STEALING, AND MAKES A PERSON STAY UP FOR DAYS AT A TIME, OH AND RUINS ONES TEETH! I WOULD TRY TO GET INFORMATION ABOUT HOW TO TEST FOR DRUGS, THEN TEST HIM TO SEE IF THAT IS THE CASE, THEN SEEK APPROPRIATE HELP, THERE IS TONS OUT THERE. A PARENT HAS TO DO WHAT A PARENT HAS TO DO. GOOD LUCK.
7. first of all the family needs some serious family counseling and especially needs help for the boy.if he is now stealing the may be drugs involved,since stealing and looking bad are possbile signs...the oldest son is not to blame,even members of a perfect family can go astray, and mom needs to stop blaming the oldest son,before she has another son needing counseling.the youngest son is the only one responsible,the girlfriend might have led him in the wrong direction but it was the youngest son who chose to go in the direction.has the mother talked to the school counselor,contacted family counseling,drug rehab centers ,ect ? .the sooner the better...good luck
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