i'm going to coffee with my ex boyfriend thursday morning. how can i make this go smoothly, i just want to go have fun with him. i still have feelings for him but i dont want to get into all that past stuff...any advice on how to make this go as smoothly as possible??? thank you so much and God bless.
Answers:
1. treat him as a friend.
2. Don't go into anything too personal.Keep it casual.Don't talk about any other guys with him and hopefully he won't talk about anyone else either.
3. just talk about one subject and maybe u'll get back to him just don't go to crazy about the subject
4. just act completely normal. things may seem a bit awkward at first, but you just need to talk to him like you always did--- act as if nothing has changed, and make sure to start off with a conversation topic that he will respond to (aka something he likes to talk about) also, avoid bringing up and "remember when we used to..." or "i wish we would have.... when we were going out". its ok to talk about memories you guys have shared together, but dont talk so much about what you were like as a couple because it could make things awkward.
5. stay on light subjects, avoid anything too personal or that will rehash any of your old trouble spots. Just treat him as you would a good friend.
6. Just have heaps of fun like you want to and don't think about bad outcomes.. Just think about what is happening in the present.. :)
7. Is it coffee...or "coffee...?" Here are the rules in either case:
1) Don't ask him who or if he's dating.
2) Don't talk too much about yourself; be matter of fact in your answers.
3) Be courteous and receptive to courtesy.
4) Carry the attitude that you should and will be treated with respect.
5) Be confident. Look nice, but don't comb your hair 22 times before he arrives.
6) Be on time, yourself.
7) Ask questions about what he's been up to, but don't be too probing.
8) Keep things light hearted.
9) Be sincere and make sure your eyes smile.
10) Don't offer any information about yourself unless he asks, then be short but polite in your answers. (Mystery is everything.)
11) Don't put out. DON'T PUT OUT.
8. Good Luck - but if you still have feelings for him it will be next to impossible to have it go smoothly.
9. Its good you recongized you still have feelings for him. A lot of the whole after the break up limbo is easily thrown up in flames due to the "Do I still have feelings and if I do should I pursue them?". My advice would be to think you about what you do with other male friends that you are not interested in. If your trying to avoid deep conversation go somewhere public where thoughts of dredging up old topics are forgotten. At least have fun right?
10. Just talk about general things.... work, study, family and friends.. dont bring up anything personal or about your past relationship. If he does just smile and say i would rather keep this as a casual friend date. I met up with my ex who i have feelings for and i went well.. now he wants a relationship and im not sure! Just take things slowly..
11. just be as rigid as you can,,,, dont be swayed by emotions
12. Your just meeting up with him because you miss him? Because your friends? Because you want to get back together?? I wish I knew what to tell you. I think that if you guys. You know what I think that no matter how smooth you want it to go it is going to be nervewrecking, but just decide what your true motive is. I know that I have a month before I see my ex and I can tell you that I do want to get back with him. Did you want to start over???
13. 1. Why are you going out with your ex?
2. What do you mean by 'fun'?
If you're looking to be "just friends" with your ex, it IS possible, but not if you JUST broke up. You need a couple of months, at least. But for God's sake, don't SLEEP with him!!
14. be yourself but dont motivate that may lead to a repeat performance of your past relationship. feelings are always there but its just a sort of for "old times sake". but beware its like a candle its just a matter of rekindling one touch, one word baam! remember he knows your weaknesses so good luck.
15. Don't go. If he is your ex, then let that be what it is and find a girlfriend to go to coffee with. Last resort is take a girlfriend with you and him, he will ge the hint. If you go on your own, it will heat up.
16. Keep your expectations reasonable....stay in the range of "enjoying (and staying within) the moment" and connecting with the personality before you rather than thinking in terms of relationship potential or the ramifications of rekindling a romance. In the moment, it's easy to take in every subtle nuance that occurs to you and you'll be at ease... Thinking "relationship", this will wind up being about as awkward an outing as has ever been had. How things go will be largely dependent on your perspective and the way you govern your thoughts.
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